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Going Gently Through the Grief of Divorce

My heart felt like an empty hole in my chest . . .

I was in so much pain I could hardly breathe—was it a heart attack? Kind of, it was a broken heart. I was in tears on and off for days as grief washed over me in waves. Was I fresh out of my divorce? No, it was 18 months later when my Ex told me he had met the love of his life.

 

No matter who leaves whom, or if the decision is mutual, divorce is a breathtaking ending with long-term reverberations. And, as I learned firsthand, grief isn’t a one-time event. It’s a process. Several milestones can trigger grief long after the fact, including the day the divorce is final, when your Ex starts dating, and your first holidays on your own. No matter when or how it’s triggered, grief is an opportunity to heal your wounds and fully move on.


Grief is Different from Depression

Grief is expressed in many ways. Sometimes it shows up as stress, anger, or other physical symptoms. It’s surprising how physical grief can be. Your heart aches as mine did. Or, maybe a memory comes up that causes your stomach to clench. Use this checklist to identify ways that grief might be affecting you:

  • Crying
  • Mood Swings
  • Social withdrawal
  • Changes in appetite
  • Low energy/fatigue
  • Anxiety or fear
  • Lack of motivation
  • High-risk behavior
  • Anger/irritability
  • Poor sleep
  • Sadness
  • Numbness
  • Confusion
  • Racing thoughts
  • Poor concentration


In grief, the sad thoughts and feelings typically occur in waves or bursts followed by periods of respite. You retain your sense of humor and capacity to be consoled or distracted from the pain. People who are depressed often experience many of the same things while also struggling with feelings of guilt and worthlessness and a limited ability to experience or anticipate pleasure or joy.

With depression, getting a diagnosis and seeking treatment can be literally life-saving. Experiencing grief due to a significant loss is not only expected but is ultimately very healing.

Good Grief

 

We can’t and shouldn’t bypass grief. Until you really let yourself grieve the ending of your marriage, you may find it difficult to truly move on because part of you remains tied to the past. While you can’t circumvent it, there are things you can do to help you move through it with grace.

 

  • Be gentle with yourself as you begin to accept the finality of the end of your marriage.
  • Acknowledge and express the full range of feelings you experience as a result of the loss.
  • Have a good cry whenever you need to.
  • Take care of your body with plenty of sleep, regular exercise and healthy food.
  • Take it easy on yourself—expect you may not be as efficient or “with it” as you are normally. While you probably still need to go to work, don’t make this the time you volunteer for extra projects.
  • Actively and regularly nurture yourself with activities that you find pleasurable like massage, walking in nature, or hanging out with friends.
  • Find someone to talk to—a coach or therapist or a good friend or family member you can trust to listen and be supportive.

 

Be with the grief, acknowledge it, recognize it, and know that it will pass and you will move on.



Helpful Resources:

 

 

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  33. Contact Doctor Odunga at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com if you want to get your Husband, Wife, Boyfriend and Girlfriend back now and regain your happiness.

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  35. GREAT LOVE SPELL CASTER THAT WORK EFFECTIVELY AND CAN HELP YOU GET YOUR EX LOVER, HUSBAND, WIFE, GIRLFRIEND OR BOYFRIEND BACK. HIS CONTACT INFO ARE BELOW

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  42. My husband started acting weird and going out with other ladies and showed me cold love since the start of the year. On several occasions he threatened to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies. I was totally devastated and confused until an old friend of mine told me about Dr Ilekhojie who help people with relationship and marriage problem. At first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try and contacted him. He performed a reconciliation ritual to make our connection strong and ensure no one comes between us. Now, my husband has stopped going out with other ladies and his with me for good and for real. Contact Dr Ilekhojie for solutions to your relationship or marriage problem to be solved today via: gethelp05@gmail.com or WhatsApp: +2348147400259 or check out https://ilekhojie-solutions.webnode.page

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  49. My Girlfriend left me for another man. I needed her back desperately because i loved her so much. I became very worried and needed help. as i was browsing through the internet, I came across a particular testimony about this good LORD RICHARD SPELL help get ex back fast and stop a divorce or breakup and so on , So I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (return Love spell) for me. 28 hours later, my girl friend came back to me crying and begging for my forgiveness. Today I’m so happy and i want to recommend this great spell caster to anyone that truly needs an urgent solution to his or her broken relationships and marriage email him at: lordrichardspell@gmail.com Simply contact the great “LORD RICHARD SPELL” If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you., do not cry anymore-contact this powerful spell caster now. Thank you LORD RICHARD SPELL for saving my broken relationships and brought my boyfriend back to me!” email him at:lordrichardspell@gmail.com
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  50. My Girlfriend left me for another man. I needed her back desperately because i loved her so much. I became very worried and needed help. as i was browsing through the internet, I came across a particular testimony about this good LORD RICHARD SPELL help get ex back fast and stop a divorce or breakup and so on , So I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (return Love spell) for me. 28 hours later, my girl friend came back to me crying and begging for my forgiveness. Today I’m so happy and i want to recommend this great spell caster to anyone that truly needs an urgent solution to his or her broken relationships and marriage email him at: lordrichardspell@gmail.com Simply contact the great “LORD RICHARD SPELL” If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you., do not cry anymore-contact this powerful spell caster now. Thank you LORD RICHARD SPELL for saving my broken relationships and brought my boyfriend back to me!” email him at:lordrichardspell@ gmail.com
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  59. Hello my name is Shenny from USA New York, I want to testify to the general public how my relationship was restored back by the great power’s of Dr Peter after three months of loneliness, my Ex-lover called me after my contact with Dr Peter that he want us to come back and start a good home, now we are happily together again as lovers. All thanks to Dr Peter who did a love spell for me for my Ex lover to return home. I will keep sharing this until people who also need help see this for his wonderful help. You can contact him via email drpeterspellcaster21@gmail.com
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