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My ex, my adult kids and me celebrating the holiday together? I say, “no way,” but he’s pushing for it.

Dear Deb: My ex wants us to get together with our adult children for the holidays like we are all a happy family. He had multiple affairs, and we finally divorced after 32 years. I am not comfortable being with my ex. How do I proceed?

Dear Uncomfortable:

The holidays are notorious emotional triggers, bringing up and amplifying unresolved anger, grief and sadness. Some Exes can mix and mingle during this time, but many would rather eat paste. That’s OK. There’s no right or wrong. It’s all about what feels right for you.

The fact that you’re not comfortable being around your Ex says it all. You don’t have to force yourself to play out the “one big happy family” scene. Period. Full stop.

Here are some things to consider:

Talk to your kids: Sitting down with your kids and letting them know how you feel will help create a holiday everyone can enjoy. I suggest you kindly let your kids know that you’re setting boundaries, and this is one of them. Without going into the story of why, let them know you are choosing not to be around your Ex. You don’t need to explain or justify your feelings. Work with your kids to plan a separate gathering to celebrate.

Don’t overshare: Remember to focus on your relationship with your kids and not on your Ex and why you’re in this situation. Avoid venting to your children about your Ex, which puts them in a no-win position and can have long-lasting adverse effects on your relationship with them. Save that for your coach, therapist, or best friend.

Stay Flexible: Accept that because of schedules, your time with your kids might not be on the milestone days or dates dictated by past traditions. Adult children have their own considerations, especially if they’re factoring in in-laws. You’ll be more likely to spend meaningful moments with your children if you take the time to address their needs and respond to them with flexibility.

Practice Self-Care: This is difficult. You deserve your own love and care as you navigate your post-divorce holidays. Be exceedingly kind and gentle with yourself. Buy yourself a holiday gift, get a massage, plan something fun with friends . . . whatever makes you feel good. Taking active steps to create moments of joy for yourself will give you a feeling of power over your holidays.

Breathe: Remember, it will get easier with time.

Side note! Whether or not you EVER decide to co-share a holiday with your Ex and your kids, you owe it to yourself to continue to work through and eventually release your anger over his years of cheating. While it’s completely justified and understandable, you don’t want to carry it with you for life. Letting go of your anger doesn’t condone what he did. Instead, it frees you from being emotionally stuck to it.


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  1. I want to share my amazing experience with everyone about a spell caster called Dr Kala, my husband was cheating on me and when I found out we had a fight which led to him filing for a divorce, I cried and begged him to forgive me but he insisted on divorcing me. When i was searching about love quotes online i saw people talking about Dr Kala and his great work on how he help them to resolve their love problem whose case was similar to mine they left his contact info and i contacted him and he told me not to worry that after 24hrs my husband will cancel the divorce and come back to me after i did everything he asked me to do, to my greatest surprise after 24hrs, my husband came back and he knelt down begging me to accept him back and he promised me he will never cheat or leave me again. He cancelled the divorce and returned back home. Thank you once again Dr Kala you are indeed a blessing to me.You can also contact Dr Kala to help you get your ex back on email: kalalovespell@gmail.com or WhatsApp +2347051705853

    1. I want to use this opportunity to tell everyone about Dr Kala who specialize in relationship problems and marriage issues. I was going through divorce when I met with Dr Kala and he helped me to stop my divorce and get my husband back to me. My husband filed for divorce because he saw another woman in his workplace and he said to me that he is no longer in love with me and decided to divorce me. I sought help online and I saw good testimonies about Dr Kala and I contacted him and explained my problem to him and he cast a spell to put an end to my ongoing divorce case and get my husband back to me within 2 days. If you need his help Email him at kalalovespell@gmail.com or WhatsApp +2347051705853. His website is http://luckyspelltemple.wordpress.com

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      2. THE PERFECT LOVE SPELL CASTER TO CONTACT FOR YOUR BROKEN MARRIAGE AND GET IT SOLVE FAST

        I can’t forget how Dr Great helped me to restore back my marriage after 4 month of separating with my wife out of quarrel and she left and never return back to me, i did so much to get her back but nothing worked out not until i saw a comment online when someone was testifying of how Dr Great helped him to get back his wife and that was how i contacted him through his WhatsApp and after writing my issue out he assured me that he will help me to get back with my wife in 24 hrs after casting the love spell, and after he did the spell my wife came back home and pleaded that she was very sorry for leaving me, today am back with my wife and we are both happy and living together again. i know there are many people out there that want to get their love back please contact Dr Great cause he is the perfect answer to your problem. Contact him:

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  2. Hello my name is Vivian Marcus from the United State, i’m so exciting writing this article to let people seek for help in any Break up Marriage and Relationship, Dr Kachi brought my Ex Boyfriend back to me, Thank you Sir Kachi for helped so many Relationship situation like mine to be restored, i was in pain until the day my aunt introduce me to Dr Kachi that she got her husband back with powerful love spell with help of Dr Kachi So i sent him an email telling him about my problem how my Boyfriend left me and cheating on me because of her boss lady at work i cry all day and night, but Dr Kachi told me my Boyfriend shall return back to me within 24hrs and to me everything he asked me to do the next day it was all like a dream when he text me and said please forgive me and accept me back exactly what i wanted, i am so happy now as we are back together again. because I never thought my Ex Boyfriend would be back to me so quickly with your spell. You are the best and the world greatest Dr Kachi. if you’re having broke up Ex Lover or your husband left you and moved to another woman, You do want to get Pregnant do not feel sad anymore contact: drkachispellcast@gmail.com his Text Number Call:: +1 (209) 893-8075 You can reach him Website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site

  3. Good works deserves good recommendation, I appreciate the effort of Dr.Excellent for helping me to bring back my husband, All thanks to him. I was heart broken when my husband left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but I could not control the pains that tormented my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because I was really in love with my husband. I have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that directed me to Dr.Excellent a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 11hours. Me and my husband are living happily together again, This man is powerful, you can contact him now. I will advice anyone that have relationship problem or marriage problem, financial Difficulty, court case problem contact Dr Excellent now, Here his contact.
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  4. Good works deserves good recommendation, I appreciate the effort of Dr.Excellent for helping me to bring back my husband, All thanks to him. I was heart broken when my husband left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but I could not control the pains that tormented my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because I was really in love with my husband. I have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that directed me to Dr.Excellent a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 11hours. Me and my husband are living happily together again, This man is powerful, you can contact him now. I will advice anyone that have relationship problem or marriage problem, financial Difficulty, court case problem contact Dr Excellent now, Here his contact.
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  5. Hello my name is Vivian Marcus from the United State, i’m so exciting writing this article to let people seek for help in any Break up Marriage and Relationship, Dr Kachi brought my Ex Boyfriend back to me, Thank you Sir Kachi for helped so many Relationship situation like mine to be restored, i was in pain until the day my aunt introduce me to Dr Kachi that she got her husband back with powerful love spell with help of Dr Kachi So i sent him an email telling him about my problem how my Boyfriend left me and cheating on me because of her boss lady at work i cry all day and night, but Dr Kachi told me my Boyfriend shall return back to me within 24hrs and to me everything he asked me to do the next day it was all like a dream when he text me and said please forgive me and accept me back exactly what i wanted, i am so happy now as we are back together again. because I never thought my Ex Boyfriend would be back to me so quickly with your spell. You are the best and the world greatest Dr Kachi. if you’re having broke up Ex Lover or your husband left you and moved to another woman, You do want to get Pregnant do not feel sad anymore contact:: drkachispellcast@gmail.com his Text Number Call:: +1 (209) 893-8075 You can reach him Website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site

  6. I’m so very grateful to Dr Jumba, for bringing my husband who left me for another woman, that moment my husband Left me I thought I lost everything until a friend of my gave me Dr Jumba, WhatsApp contact, I messaged him and told him the pain I was going through so he told me that everything was going to be fine that if I have the faith and believe in him that the spell will surely work for me and my husband will surely come back home and he told me what to do, so those things were done and 24 hrs later my husband came back home begging for my forgiveness, am so happy and grateful to Dr Jumba, if you need his help email him at wiccalovespelltools@gmail. com or WhatsApp him +1(908)517-4108.

  7. I’m so very grateful to Dr Jumba, for bringing my husband who left me for another woman, that moment my husband Left me I thought I lost everything until a friend of my gave me Dr Jumba, WhatsApp contact, I messaged him and told him the pain I was going through so he told me that everything was going to be fine that if I have the faith and believe in him that the spell will surely work for me and my husband will surely come back home and he told me what to do, so those things were done and 24 hrs later my husband came back home begging for my forgiveness, am so happy and grateful to Dr Jumba, if you need his help email him at wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com or WhatsApp him +1(908)517-4108. website : https://drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com .

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  9. I want the world to know a great man that is well known as Dr Kala, he has the perfect solution to relationship issues and marriage problems. The main reason why i went to Dr Kala was for solution on how i can get my husband back because my husband left home to live with another woman and he was seeking for a divorce and i don’t want that to happen and i needed to get him back home.When i was searching for help on how i can get my husband back, i read some testimonies on the internet which some people has written about Dr Kala and i was so pleased to contact him on his email (kalalovespell@gmail.com) which he did a perfect job by casting a spell on my husband that made him to come back home to me and beg for forgiveness. I will not stop publishing his name because of the good work he is doing. I will drop his contact for the usefulness of those that need his help. His email is KALALOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM or WhatsApp him on +2347051705853.You can contact him today and get your ex back.

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  11. You can save your relationship if you are willing to do so” All thanks to Dr.Excellent spell caster for helping me to bring back my husband. I was heart broken when my husband left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but I could not control the pains that tormented my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because I was really in love with my husband. I have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that directed me to Dr.Excellent a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 11hours. Me and my husband are living happily together again, This man is powerful, I will advice anyone that have relationship problem or marriage problem, financial Difficulty, court case problem to contact Dr Excellent now for help, Here his contact.
    WhatsApp him at: +2348084273514 “Or email him at: Excellentspellcaster@gmail.com ,
    His website:https://drexcellentspellcaster.godaddysites.com

  12. Hello my name is Vivian Marcus from the United State, i’m so exciting writing this article to let people seek for help in any Break up Marriage and Relationship, Dr Kachi brought my Ex Boyfriend back to me, Thank you Sir Kachi for helped so many Relationship situation like mine to be restored, i was in pain until the day my aunt introduce me to Dr Kachi that she got her husband back with powerful love spell with help of Dr Kachi So i sent him an email telling him about my problem how my Boyfriend left me and cheating on me because of her boss lady at work i cry all day and night, but Dr Kachi told me my Boyfriend shall return back to me within 24hrs and to me everything he asked me to do the next day it was all like a dream when he text me and said please forgive me and accept me back exactly what i wanted, i am so happy now as we are back together again. because I never thought my Ex Boyfriend would be back to me so quickly with your spell. You are the best and the world greatest Dr Kachi. if you’re having broke up Ex Lover or your husband left you and moved to another woman, You do want to get Pregnant do not feel sad anymore contact: drkachispellcast@gmail. com his WhatsApp Number Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 You can reach him Website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site

  13. I want to use this opportunity to tell everyone about Dr Kala who specialize in relationship problems and marriage issues. I was going through divorce when I met with Dr Kala and he helped me to stop my divorce and get my husband back to me. My husband filed for divorce because he saw another woman in his workplace and he said to me that he is no longer in love with me and decided to divorce me. I sought help online and I saw good testimonies about Dr Kala and I contacted him and explained my problem to him and he cast a spell to put an end to my ongoing divorce case and get my husband back to me within 2 days. If you need his help Email him at kalalovespell@gmail.com or WhatsApp +2347051705853. His website is http://luckyspelltemple.wordpress.com

  14. Hi Guys I’m so excited to share this testimony on how i got my Fiancee back,
    i was heartbroken when my fiancee told me he is no longer interested in marrying me because he was having an affair with the other woman where he work. I cried and sobbed every day, until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help, that was when i read a review about the great work of DR happy, then i contacted him for help to get my lover back, he helped me cast a powerful (reconciliation love spell) and to my greatest surprise after 24 hours of doing the love spell my Fiancee came back on his knees begging me to forgive him.you can contact him..
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  15. HOW TO GET YOUR EX HUSBAND BACK HELP OF DR KACHI CALL NUMBER +1 (209) 893-8075

    God did it for me again with the help of Dr Kachi with his love spell to get my husband back. we divorce 3months ago and since things become so hard for me because I love my husband so much, But he was chatting on me with another woman and he always goes to party every night my husband doesn’t care about me whenever he get back at night he will be beating me up with no reason, I cry every night and day to get my husband back to his normal love and affection that he give to me before. but nothing was working out for me I try my best I left him with my kids but I couldn’t sleep at night without thinking about my husband, then one day I was reading a new online about our politics and I see a comment about Dr Kachi how he restored broken relationship back and marriage, i didn’t believe in love spell at the first place, then i have to make further research about Dr Kachi I opened his website I can’t believe what I saw a great man helping people return their lover back and being happy in relationship again. I went fast and contacted Dr Kachi to help me restore my marriage back, after I provided the required needed to cast the love spell, the next day my husband come back to me and apologies for him leaving me and the kids Dr Kachi made me the happiest woman on earth I am so happy, I do appreciate your kind help bring my husband home, you can also contact him and seek for help in break up in married Via Text Number WhatsApp: +1 (209) 893-8075 Website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site Email drkachispellcast@gmail. com

  16. BITCOIN RECOVERY IS REAL!!!

    ( MorrisGray830 At gmail Dot Com, is the man for the job ) This man is dedicated to his work and you can trust him more than yourself. I contacted him a year and a half Ago and he didn’t succeed. when i got ripped of $491,000 worth of bitcoins by scammers, I tried several recovery programs with no success too. I kept on. And now after so much time Mr Morris Gray contacted me with a success, and the reward he took was small because obviously he is doing this because he wants to help idiots like me who fell for crypto scam, and love his job. Of course he could have taken all the coins and not tell me , I was not syncing this wallet for a year, but he didn’t. He is the MAN guys , He is! If you have been a victim of crypto scam before you can trust Morris Gray 10000000%. I thought there were no such good genuine guys anymore on earth, but Mr Morris Gray brought my trust to humanity again. GOD bless you sir…you can reach him via ( MORRIS GRAY 830 at Gmaill dot com ) or Whatsapp +1 (607)698-0239…..

  17. THE PERFECT LOVE SPELL CASTER TO CONTACT FOR YOUR BROKEN MARRIAGE AND GET IT SOLVE FAST

    I can’t forget how Dr Great helped me to restore back my marriage after 4 month of separating with my wife out of quarrel and she left and never return back to me, i did so much to get her back but nothing worked out not until i saw a comment online when someone was testifying of how Dr Great helped him to get back his wife and that was how i contacted him through his WhatsApp and after writing my issue out he assured me that he will help me to get back with my wife in 24 hrs after casting the love spell, and after he did the spell my wife came back home and pleaded that she was very sorry for leaving me, today am back with my wife and we are both happy and living together again. i know there are many people out there that want to get their love back please contact Dr Great cause he is the perfect answer to your problem. Contact him:

    Call/WhatsApp him: +2348118829899

    Email: infinitylovespell@gmail.com OR infinitylovespell@yahoo.com

    View his blog http://infinitylovespell1.blogspot.com

  18. HOW TO GET YOUR EX HUSBAND BACK HELP OF DR KACHI CALL NUMBER +1 (209) 893-8075

    God did it for me again with the help of Dr Kachi with his love spell to get my husband back. we divorce 3months ago and since things become so hard for me because I love my husband so much, But he was chatting on me with another woman and he always goes to party every night my husband doesn’t care about me whenever he get back at night he will be beating me up with no reason, I cry every night and day to get my husband back to his normal love and affection that he give to me before. but nothing was working out for me I try my best I left him with my kids but I couldn’t sleep at night without thinking about my husband, then one day I was reading a new online about our politics and I see a comment about Dr Kachi how he restored broken relationship back and marriage, i didn’t believe in love spell at the first place, then i have to make further research about Dr Kachi I opened his website I can’t believe what I saw a great man helping people return their lover back and being happy in relationship again. I went fast and contacted Dr Kachi to help me restore my marriage back, after I provided the required needed to cast the love spell, the next day my husband come back to me and apologies for him leaving me and the kids Dr Kachi made me the happiest woman on earth I am so happy, I do appreciate your kind help bring my husband home, you can also contact him and seek for help in break up in married Via Text Number WhatsApp: +1 (209) 893-8075 Website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site Email drkachispellcast@gmail.com

  19. Good works deserves good recommendation, I met a powerful spell caster and He is very real, Honest and Genuine. All thanks to Dr.Excellent spell caster for helping me to bring back my husband. I was heart broken when my husband left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but I could not control the pains that tormented my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because I was really in love with my husband. I have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that directed me to Dr.Excellent a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 11hours. Me and my husband are living happily together again, This man is powerful, you can contact him now. I will advice anyone that have relationship problem or marriage problem, financial Difficulty, court case problem contact Dr Excellent now, Here his contact.
    WhatsApp him at: +2348084273514 “Or email him at: Excellentspellcaster@gmail.com ,
    His website:https://drexcellentspellcaster.godaddysites.com

  20. Good works deserves good recommendation, I met a powerful spell caster and He is very real, Honest and Genuine. All thanks to Dr.Excellent spell caster for helping me to bring back my husband. I was heart broken when my husband left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but I could not control the pains that tormented my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because I was really in love with my husband. I have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that directed me to Dr.Excellent a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 11hours. Me and my husband are living happily together again, This man is powerful, you can contact him now. I will advice anyone that have relationship problem or marriage problem, financial Difficulty, court case problem contact Dr Excellent now, Here his contact.
    WhatsApp him at: +2348084273514 “Or email him at: Excellentspellcaster@gmail. com

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  23. Strong And Powerful Love Spell To Win Your Ex Back.. I have decided that i am going to spend the whole day on the internet just to make sure that a lot of people are able to read this my testimony about Dr.happy who is a powerful spell caster, After been abandon by my husband i was so lonely, that i decided to go through the internet for some relationships tips, I never knew that this was the road map that will secure the return of my husband. After reading a lot of tips on how to restore my relationship in a more better way i discovered that Dr.happy has a lot of recommendation than other spell casters, So with this i had my mind made up that Dr.happy was the right person for this, And i contacted Dr.happy through his details which i saw on the internet and i was so happy that i chose to work with Dr.happy because his work was 100% perfect and the spell brought my husband back to me with fast relief you can also contact him for help now email.. happylovespell2@gmail.com
    Whatsapp/cal +2347068494711
    Website…happylovespell2.webnode.com/
    His facebook page https://web.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61552907003445

  24. HOW TO GET YOUR EX HUSBAND BACK HELP OF DR KACHI CALL NUMBER +1 (209) 893-8075

    God did it for me again with the help of Dr Kachi with his love spell to get my husband back. we divorce 3months ago and since things become so hard for me because I love my husband so much, But he was chatting on me with another woman and he always goes to party every night my husband doesn’t care about me whenever he get back at night he will be beating me up with no reason, I cry every night and day to get my husband back to his normal love and affection that he give to me before. but nothing was working out for me I try my best I left him with my kids but I couldn’t sleep at night without thinking about my husband, then one day I was reading a new online about our politics and I see a comment about Dr Kachi how he restored broken relationship back and marriage, i didn’t believe in love spell at the first place, then i have to make further research about Dr Kachi I opened his website I can’t believe what I saw a great man helping people return their lover back and being happy in relationship again. I went fast and contacted Dr Kachi to help me restore my marriage back, after I provided the required needed to cast the love spell, the next day my husband come back to me and apologies for him leaving me and the kids Dr Kachi made me the happiest woman on earth I am so happy, I do appreciate your kind help bring my husband home, you can also contact him and seek for help in break up in married Via Text Number WhatsApp: +1 (209) 893-8075 Website:: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site Email drkachispellcast@gmail. com