How nice are you . . . to yourself?
During divorce recovery, your inner critic can have a field day judging you and making you feel guilty or inadequate or worthless. This barrage of negative thoughts is having an impact on your optimism and belief in your ability to bounce back from divorce. The problem with negative self-talk is we don’t even realize we’re doing it or that we can do something about it.
The good news is that your inner voice is NOT you. You’re actually the observer of your inner voice and have the power to redirect it to be nicer to yourself. And, the more kind you are to yourself on the inside, the better your life is on the outside. Studies show that positive self-talk leads to more confidence, increased motivation, and a better outlook on life.
Fortunately, by practicing a few simple techniques, you can re-wire yourself for a more positive and friendly inner world.
When you notice you’re having a worrying thought or a judgment about yourself, label it. “That’s a worry,” “That’s me being hard on myself,” or “Wow, I’m really good at worst-case scenarios.” Just spend a few days noticing and labeling.
Step 2: Decide to Be Kind
Step 3: Talk Back!
When she was a girl, one of my clients had a calico cat with an attitude named Jazz. She started to think of her inner critic as Jazz and would talk back when negative thoughts were swirling.
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