Skip links


How to Be Alone Without Being Lonely

Some people naturally enjoy being alone. Others, not so much. In either case, being alone after the ending of your marriage has a different, more lonely quality to it that’s part of the normal sadness that comes with divorce. As your recovery progresses, cultivating a love for your own company is a valuable life skill that you can develop.

Here are some tips for getting comfortable and even learning to appreciate being alone.

1. Relish the fact that you have only yourself to please. There are no compromises to make about the temperature, the TV show, what’s for dinner, how you spend money, how you live your life, or anything else. It’s all about what you want. You may need to get back in touch with your preferences and being alone is the perfect opportunity. In the meantime, spread out over the whole bed, dance around the Livingroom in your underwear, eat ice cream for dinner—you’re in charge!

2. Give yourself projects. There is something very satisfying about checking things off your list. Maybe it’s food prep for the week or getting your car washed. Or commit to a longer-term project like purging and organizing. (I suggest Marie Kondo’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up for encouragement on only keeping what sparks joy!) Or start prowling re-sale shops and home decorating stores to give your space a lift. It’s fun to have a purpose.

3. Get creative. Doing a creative project puts you in the alpha state, which is calm, relaxed and quietly energized. Whether it’s tie-dying your old white tees, taking up watercolor, losing yourself in an adult coloring book, writing a short story or learning to knit, the point is to enjoy a creative project with no pressure on results. Don’t worry if you’re not good at it—the joy is in the process.

4. Listen up. Audiobooks, podcasts and music playlists bring the world to you while you’re driving, doing chores or taking a walk. Because you’re also active while listening, it’s much different from zoning out in front of the TV (which can make you feel worse). The voice or song in your ear helps make some of your solo time more enjoyable.

5.Learn something. Whether it’s a French cooking class at a local restaurant or a YouTube tutorial on origami, engage your brain in some novelty—it loves that! Think about what you’ve always wanted to know more about and get busy learning.

6. Do nothing. That can sound boring, but it’s actually very delicious to sit still. Set an alarm for 5 or 10 minutes, sit comfortably, and put your attention on your senses. See what your eyes are seeing (if your eyes are closed, this is the inside of your eyelids), hear what your ears are hearing, and feel what your body is feeling. Just be with yourself in peaceful silence. Guess what? You just meditated! Try doing it for a few minutes every day. It will change your brain for the better. According to a 2012 study, meditation can reduce loneliness.

7. Cut down on screen time. Some activities contribute to a sense of isolation. Binge-watching TV, scrolling your phone, and social media crawls often leave you lonely even as they distract you for a while. That’s because distraction is a low-quality state of being. What’s worse, the content you’re consuming can make you feel bad. Cut back if you want to feel better.

8.Let nature do its magic. You’re never alone in nature! Go for long walks and commune with all of our fellow living things. Nature has a restorative effect, and spending time appreciating the great outdoors WILL make you feel better. Even having live plants in your living and working spaces add to your feelings of well-being.

9.Change your attitude about being alone. We live in a world that thrives on being constantly connected. What used to be naturally occurring periods of solitude and silence (before technology) have been squeezed out of our lives. Technology and being connected aren’t inherently bad, but we’ve gotten out of balance. Being alone has great value. It allows issues and insights to surface. It offers time to contemplate your thoughts and explore your hopes and dreams. And, it provides time and space to step back, evaluate and learn from your experiences.

10. Remember, while being comfortably alone is a gift, you also have the option of being with other people when you want to. Make plans with friends and family. Find a volunteer opportunity that speaks to you and sign up for a regular shift. And make new friends by joining a MeetUp group or signing up for Bumble BFF (a dating app with a feature that helps you find nice people for friendship only). That way, you can create your perfect balance between solitude and community.

Helpful Resources:

Visit for more information.
Join the conversation on social media:
Instagram: @lovedebpurdy
Twitter: @lovedebpurdy

Leave a comment

    My name is Peggy Rothchild and i am very happy to doctor Odunga for helping me get my ex husband back and this made me very excited that i came online here to post about his work. I made a promise to him that if he got my ex husband to me in 2 days, i will make a great testimony and bring many people who needs help to him for help. His spiritual temple is in Africa and he has been in this work and helped so many people. He is a great spell caster and can help you no matter where you are. My husband Peter is now back with me and this spell caster brought my husband back to me in 2 days, someone who left me for 4 years now. Can you please contact this man? He will help you and you will see. His temple is 

  2. Hello my name is Vivian Marcus from the United State, i’m so exciting writing this article to let people seek for help in any Break up Marriage and Relationship, Dr Kachi brought my Ex Boyfriend back to me, Thank you Sir Kachi for helped so many Relationship situation like mine to be restored, i was in pain until the day my aunt introduce me to Dr Kachi that she got her husband back with powerful love spell with help of Dr Kachi So i sent him an email telling him about my problem how my Boyfriend left me and cheating on me because of her boss lady at work i cry all day and night, but Dr Kachi told me my Boyfriend shall return back to me within 24hrs and to me everything he asked me to do the next day it was all like a dream when he text me and said please forgive me and accept me back exactly what i wanted, i am so happy now as we are back together again. because I never thought my Ex Boyfriend would be back to me so quickly with your spell. You are the best and the world greatest Dr Kachi. if you’re having broke up Ex Lover or your husband left you and moved to another woman.. You do want to get Pregnant do not feel sad anymore contact:: drkachispellcast @gmail. com his Text Number Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 You can reach him Website:

  3. I just want the whole world to know about this spell caster I met two weeks ago,I cannot say everything he has done for me and my family I was going through online when I meant this wonderful man’s testimony online how he won a lottery through the help of dr Ose I decided to just give it a try and my life is back to me now after i lost my job due to covid  he gave me a winning numbers to play lottery and i won 5000usd for my first play since then i have been working with him and he has been giving me numbers to play my lottery i can not write everything he has done for me if you need a lottery spell today contact him on
    whatsapp +2348136482342

  4. BE SMART AND BECOME RICH IN LESS THAN 3DAYS….It all depends on how fast 
    you can be to get the new PROGRAMMED blank ATM card that is capable of
    hacking into any ATM machine,anywhere in the world. I got to know about 
    this BLANK ATM CARD when I was searching for job online about a month 
    ago..It has really changed my life for good and now I can say I’m rich and 
    I can never be poor again. The least money I get in a day with it is about 
    $50,000.(fifty thousand USD) Every now and then I keeping pumping money 
    into my account. Though is illegal,there is no risk of being caught 
    ,because it has been programmed in such a way that it is not traceable,it 
    also has a technique that makes it impossible for the CCTVs to detect 
    you..For details on how to get yours today, email the hackers on : ( < Tell your 
    loved once too, and start to live large. That's the simple testimony of how 
    my life changed for good…Love you all .

  5. Dr. Obodubu Monday is recognised all over the world of marine kingdom, As one of the top fortunate and most powerful spell casters doctor of charms casts from the beginning of his ancestors ship until now Dr. Obodubu Monday lives strong among all other spell casters, there have never been any form of impossibility beyond the control of Dr. Obodubu Monday it doesn’t matter the distance of the person with the problems or situation, all you have to do is believe in the spell casting Dr. Obodubu Monday cast that works, he always warns never to get his charms cast if you do not believe or unable to follow his instruction. it is the assignment of the native doctor Dr. Obodubu Monday to offer services to those in need of spiritual assistance not minding the gravity of your situations or distance as long as water, sea, ocean, lake, river, sand, etc. are near you, then your problems of life would be controlled under your foot. if you need any spiritual help on any of these WhatsApp Doctor Obodubu on : +234 705 993 7909
    Get Your Love Back
    Fruit Of The Womb
    Business Boom
    Financial Breakthrough
    Get Rich Without Ritual
    Do As I Say
    Bad Dream
    Promise And Fail
    Land/Court Case
    Mental Disorder
    Political Appointment
    Visa Approval
    Examination Success
    Spend And Get Back
    Good Luck
    Natural Neath
    Sickle cell
    Win Court case
    Promotion At Work
    Commanding Tone
    Protection Ring
    Marriage Success
    Love Ring
    Favour Ring
    Recover Lost Glory
    Spiritual Power For Men Of God
    Travel Success Ring
    Job Success
    lottery/ win
    And Many, More
    make haste to Dr Monday on WhatsApp +234 705 993 7909 for spiritual problem today and you will surely get solution to all your predicament

  6. Hi guys, i don’t have much to say now now, Than to say thanks to Dr. Monday for rescuing me and my family from poverty, and for getting my husband and my Job back, i love playing lottery , but winning is my biggest problem, Ill never forget the day i come in contact with Dr Monday, whose lottery spell make me a winner, some million Dollars , after giving me a sure winning numbers within 3 days to play,my financial status is settled for good,now i have started to live my dream life after 12 years of playing the lottery A big thanks to Dr Monday, am grateful for all you have done for me and family, he can be reach on Via WhatsApp +234 705 993 7909