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Step-by-Step: Divorce Process Flow Chart

From the moment one spouse makes a decision to leave, both people start on a transition that follows predictable stages. Regardless of who initiated the divorce, many people experience a version of the process captured on the Divorce Process Flow Chart. I created the chart

I was recently interviewed for an article posted on Next Avenue on long-term marriages that end after kids leave the nest. Here’s link to the full article: Why Do Many Marriages Dissolve After Two Decades

Reinventing Divorce: The No Shame, No Blame Reframe

Not all marriages are meant to last a lifetime. Resisting this simple fact feeds the destructive cycle of shame and blame. When it comes to divorce, the societal consensus is that something has gone terribly wrong. The “divorce = failure” meme is so deeply embedded into

What to Ask Yourself When Things Are Going Wrong

What if what’s going wrong is subject to interpretation?  It is possible that there are gifts in everything that happens, even painful and unpleasant experiences? If, just for a minute, we can take our focus off of our suffering, we make space to discover what

How to Say “No” with Confidence & Peace

“No” can be one of the most challenging words for a people pleaser to utter. In fact, for those of us who are wired to avoid conflict, it can be excruciating to deny a request or “let someone down”—even if it means abandoning ourselves. Although

Giving Up Over-Responsibility for the Feelings of Others

If you’re in the grip of the over-pleaser pattern, over-responsibility comes with the territory. I’m talking about a very specific type of over-responsibility—hyper sensitivity to others’ feelings and active (frantic) efforts on your part to “manage” those feelings. How do you know if you fall

Get Back in Touch with What YOU Want

If you’ve had the people pleasing pattern, you may not be used to giving a lot of thought to what YOU want for yourself, separate and apart from what others want from you. That means you’re making decisions based on trying to manage others’ reactions and feelings

The Practice of Being True to Yourself

My earliest memory of holding back the truth for fear of hurting someone’s feelings was in first grade when Abel Adams boldly expressed his love for me and waited expectantly for my response. So started my life-long struggle with saying what was true for me

Reinvent Valentine’s Day After Divorce

When you’re divorced and on your own, Valentine’s Day can be a painful reminder of your single status. Whether you’re wishing you had a partner on 2/14 or you’re content with going solo, you can reinvent what Valentine’s Day means to you by acting as a loving partner