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Are You Giving Your Ex Too Much Space in Your Head?
During a typical day, how much of your time is spent thinking about your Ex? Are they on your mind when you wake up? Do they pop in throughout the day? Are you ruminating for hours?
It’s normal! You’ve been with this person for the better part of your adulthood. The hole they left is not yet filled with your new life, and your mind is filling the vacuum with what it knows. Add left-over feelings and unhealed wounds from your divorce, and you’ve got a recipe for an Ex-oriented reality.
That means your Ex still occupies a central role in your inner life even though they are no longer part of your outer one. Part of you is still catching up to the fact that they are really and truly gone. It takes time to go from thinking like a spouse to pointing your mind toward your new independent “What do I want?” reality. This can be true even if you are the one who chose to leave.
Know that this is not wrong or bad. It’s a stage you go through on your way to healing and recovery.
A problem emerges if an Ex-orientation persists to the point where it keeps you stuck. It’s hard to put your energy into the new when you’re focused on how your Ex’s life is going without you. The siren call of obsessing over your Ex is even more seductive when your Ex has a new partner. Unwanted feelings of jealousy, anger or bitterness can keep their life front and center in your mind.
It’s time for some candid questions:
- Right now, today, am I OK with the amount of time I spend thinking about my Ex?
- Does thinking about my Ex make me feel better, worse or have no impact on how I’m feeling?
It may be that, for now, you aren’t ready to give up this last shred of connection to your Ex. That’s OK. It’s your recovery, and you get to handle it your way.
Conversely, if you’re getting tired of your Ex pitching camp in your head and feel that it’s getting in the way of your new beginning, you owe it to yourself to take charge of your thought patterns.
Own Your Own Attention
Thinking about your Ex, the past, what went wrong, and the “Why?” of it all is a habit you can break. It starts with self-awareness and intention. Spend a few days noticing how much of your attention you’re devoting to your Ex. If it’s too much for you and you’re ready to shift, make a commitment to yourself to work on it. Here are some ideas:
Reduce Environmental Triggers—If you’re dwelling in the former family home, it’s likely you’re in a shrine to your past. It’s time to shake up the energy. Take down the photos, get all new bedding, clear out the clutter, paint the walls, remove items that remind you of your Ex, and get new things that represent you and your new beginning. Make your home a visual Ex-free zone.
Set Boundaries with Your Ex — Maybe your Ex is calling, texting or dropping by for reasons of their own. While it’s healthy to maintain a friendly post-divorce relationship, it’s OK and helpful to your recovery to set boundaries. You can say something like, “I’m glad we’re able to stay friendly and, I need some space. Let’s touch base in (pick a time–30 days, three months, etc). Please don’t text or call unless it’s an emergency (or it’s about logistics/kids).”
Put Your Friends on Notice—Your friends may be used to you sharing about your Ex. Let them know you’re working on evicting your Ex from your thoughts. And, for the foreseeable future, you want them to support you by limiting talk about your Ex.
Use Replacement Thoughts—When you start down the rabbit hole of thinking of your Ex, notice and ask yourself, “Do I want to be thinking about X right now?” Having some replacement thoughts handy as a palate cleanse to move in a new direction can help. Something like, “It’s OK that X came into my mind just now. I lovingly release myself from thinking about X.” Or “I allow myself to let go of thinking about X right now. I can think about X later if I want to.” With practice, you’ll get very good at noticing when your mind wanders to your Ex, and it will get easier to redirect.
Add New Content to Your Thoughts—One of the fastest ways to shift out of the past is to give yourself new and exciting things to think about. Try new things, make fun plans, and fill your calendar with good experiences to look forward to. Think about your future and the life you want to create. Start a Future Journal with snippets written from future you. I made you this fun Future Journal worksheet with instructions. Pull this out and read it when you get swamped with Ex thoughts.
Stay the Course with Your Pro-active Divorce Recovery—Keep doing the work. Read the books, take the courses, join the support group, go to therapy and/or work with a coach. The more work you do to heal and process your feelings, the less compelling your Ex’s life will be to you. It takes time so give yourself grace. Know that as you put energy into recovering and rebuilding, your thoughts will naturally begin to migrate to your own life.
Helpful Resources:
- Join my Thriving After Divorce Facebook Group!
Visit www.DebPurdy.com for more information.
Join the conversation on social media:
Instagram: @lovedebpurdy
Facebook Group: Thrive After Divorce Facebook Group
I do allow the EX too much space in my head and it’s very frustrating. I am working hard to retrain my brain.
Your sincere intention and work to retrain your thought patterns will make ALL the difference. It’s frustrating, but you’re showing up for yourself, which will pay off over time. Keep up the good work and know that you will get past this.
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I want the world to know a great man that is well known as Dr Kala, he has the perfect solution to relationship issues and marriage problems and i am over joyed right now because my love is back to me with the help of Dr Kala.I want to appreciate Dr Kala for bringing back my husband who left me and the kids. I tried everything i could to get him back but he refused to come back to me and he told me its over between us and i strongly believe that he is under a love charm by the woman who took him away from me. I went online to get some tips i could use in getting him back and I saw a comment about Dr Kala and how he has helped alot of people to get there ex lover back and i quickly contact him and explain my problem to him and after following all instructions given to me by Dr Kala, my husband came back begging for forgiveness within the space of 48hours. He return back to me with so much love and affection.. Thanks dr your spell is really great. Dr Kala reunite me and my husband with love and he release my husband from the evil spell the woman used on him and return him back to me. For those of you who have marriage/relationship issues should contacct Dr Kala for help via email: kalalovespell@gmail.com or WhatsApp him on +2347051705853
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I WON THE LOTTERY TWICE:: My name is Christine Wilson of Attleborough, A Massachusetts woman who miraculously cashed in her second $1 million lottery ticket in just 10 weeks. I lack words to appreciate lord Bubuza the spell caster who keeps giving me the lottery numbers after casting his Lottery spell. This man is a great seer and he is capable of using his lottery spell to reveal lottery winning numbers, when he gave me the lottery numbers after casting the lottery spell, I purchased the Massachusetts State Lottery’s “100X Cash” ticket at Family Food Mart in Mansfield, Massachusetts and behold it was a big win for me. I am making this testimony because I made a vow to myself that I will tell the world my success story. Join me and appreciate Lord Bubuza via Email: lordbubuzamiraclework @ hotmail . com or Text/call: +1 505 569 0396 ….
I WON THE LOTTERY TWICE:: My name is Christine Wilson of Attleborough, A Massachusetts woman who miraculously cashed in her second $1 million lottery ticket in just 10 weeks. I lack words to appreciate lord Bubuza the spell caster who keeps giving me the lottery numbers after casting his Lottery spell. This man is a great seer and he is capable of using his lottery spell to reveal lottery winning numbers, when he gave me the lottery numbers after casting the lottery spell, I purchased the Massachusetts State Lottery’s “100X Cash” ticket at Family Food Mart in Mansfield, Massachusetts and behold it was a big win for me. I am making this testimony because I made a vow to myself that I will tell the world my success story. Join me and appreciate Lord Bubuza via Email: lordbubuzamiraclework @ hotmail . com or Text/call: +1 505 569 0396 …
Hello everyone, my name is Edwin Dicine. Am from Los Angeles California. I want to introduce a good testimonies of Dr Kachi the great lottery spell caster who helped me to win a lottery..my story on how I win million After reading about a article who Dr Kachi helped, I got in contact with Dr.Kachi and he told me that he going to help me cast a spell that will profit me when I play the Powerball game, and i do believed him and took action. After he casted the winning number spell, I played the Powerball Ticket, and i won greatly which I did today I’m here shearing a testimony about this same man Dr Kachi help me to win $45 million dollars, I am so happy for meeting this great spell caster that has changed my life, You can also contact Dr Kachi the legend spell caster to help you cast a lottery spell and win too, he might be of help to anyone who is interested. contact: drkachispellcast@gmail.com his Text Number and Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 his Website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site
I WON THE LOTTERY TWICE: My name is Christine Wilson of Attleborough, A Massachusetts woman who miraculously cashed in her second $1 million lottery ticket in just 10 weeks. I lack words to appreciate lord Bubuza the spell caster who keeps giving me the lottery numbers after casting his Lottery spell. This man is a great seer and he is capable of using his lottery spell to reveal lottery winning numbers, when he gave me the lottery numbers after casting the lottery spell, I purchased the Massachusetts State Lottery’s “100X Cash” ticket at Family Food Mart in Mansfield, Massachusetts and behold it was a big win for me. I am making this testimony because I made a vow to myself that I will tell the world my success story. Join me and appreciate Lord Bubuza via Email:: lordbubuzamiraclework @ hotmail . com or Text/call: +1 505 569 0396 or via Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Lordbubuzalotteryspell
I WON THE LOTTERY TWICE: My name is Christine Wilson of Attleborough, A Massachusetts woman who miraculously cashed in her second $1 million lottery ticket in just 10 weeks. I lack words to appreciate lord Bubuza the spell caster who keeps giving me the lottery numbers after casting his Lottery spell. This man is a great seer and he is capable of using his lottery spell to reveal lottery winning numbers, when he gave me the lottery numbers after casting the lottery spell, I purchased the Massachusetts State Lottery’s “100X Cash” ticket at Family Food Mart in Mansfield, Massachusetts and behold it was a big win for me. I am making this testimony because I made a vow to myself that I will tell the world my success story. Join me and appreciate Lord Bubuza via Email:: lordbubuzamiraclework @ hotmail . com or Text/call: +1 505 569 0396 or via Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Lordbubuzalotteryspell ..
Hello my name is Shenny Bones from USA New York, I want to testify to the general public how my relationship was restored back by the great power’s of Dr Peter after three months of loneliness, my Ex-lover called me after my contact with Dr Peter that he want us to come back and start a good home, now we are happily together again as lovers. All thanks to Dr Peter who did a love spell for me for my Ex lover to return home. I will keep sharing this until people who also need help see this for his wonderful help. Contact him via email drpeterspellcaster21@gmail.com
https://drpeterspellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site-1
https://drpeterspellcaster.godaddysites.com/
WHATSAPP +1 (646) 494-4360
https://drpeterspellcaster.mystrikingly.com/
My Name is Momos Smith, From Ohio United states
Am really happy that i and my Husband are cured of (HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS) with the herbal medicine of LORD RICHARD , i have been
suffering from this disease for the past 3 years without solution until i came across this doctors who have cure so many people with his
herbal medicine, i also choose to give him a chance to help me and my husband, he told me what to do and i kindly did it, and he gave us
his herbal medicine and direct me on how to use it, i also follows his instruction for use and he ask us to go for a check up after 3 weeks and
which i did, to my greatest surprise our result came out as negative, we are really happy that there is someone like this lord richard who is
ready to help anytime any day. to all the readers and Viewers that is doubting this testimony stop doubting it and contact this Dr and see if
he will not actually help you. I am not a stupid Woman that i will come out to the Public and start saying what someone have not done for
me .contact him now if you are also in need of help via
email lordrichardspell@gmail.com
whatsaap number +1(360)884-0286
May God bless you sir for all your good works. contact LORD RICHARD today for your following diseases below
HEPATITIS,
CÁNCER,
HIV
HERPES
ASTHMA
DIABETES
EPILEPSY
INFERTILITY
STAPHYLOCOCCUS.
BARENESS
Kidney?
My Name is Momos Smith, From Ohio United states
Am really happy that i and my Husband are cured of (HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS) with the herbal medicine of LORD RICHARD , i have been
suffering from this disease for the past 3 years without solution until i came across this doctors who have cure so many people with his
herbal medicine, i also choose to give him a chance to help me and my husband, he told me what to do and i kindly did it, and he gave us
his herbal medicine and direct me on how to use it, i also follows his instruction for use and he ask us to go for a check up after 3 weeks and
which i did, to my greatest surprise our result came out as negative, we are really happy that there is someone like this lord richard who is
ready to help anytime any day. to all the readers and Viewers that is doubting this testimony stop doubting it and contact this Dr and see if
he will not actually help you. I am not a stupid Woman that i will come out to the Public and start saying what someone have not done for
me .contact him now if you are also in need of help via
email lordrichardspell@ gmail.com
whatsaap number +1(360)884-0286
May God bless you sir for all your good works. contact LORD RICHARD today for your following diseases below
HEPATITIS,
CÁNCER,
HIV
HERPES
ASTHMA
DIABETES
EPILEPSY
INFERTILITY
STAPHYLOCOCCUS.
BARENESS
Kidney?
He cast spells for different purposes like(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dream
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) HIV/AIDS CURE
(10) is the only answer to that your problem of winning the lottery
Contact him today on oseremenspelltemple @ gmail. com
The lottery is very easy to win, but only when you find the right person that can help you for real, that is the only way you can become a big lottery winner. I will share my experience with Prophet Isaac to you because i want you to be a partaker of the blessings of Prophet Isaac, I lost a lot of money to the wrong people trying to win the lottery, but i never stopped trying because i know I’m destined to win, when i was doing some searching online i came across Prophet Isaac and i took his email and WhatsApp numbers and messaged him, he was so real to me and didn’t waste a lot of time before he started working on my winning numbers, I’m Yanira Alvarez from Los Angeles, the Powerball’s $1.8B jackpot winner, you can do research about my winning, this is not a joke spell still works, the numbers Prophet Isaac gave me to play was 7, 10, 11, 13, 24, and 24. I urge everyone trying to win the lottery to reach out to Prophet Isaac on Email urgentspellcast01@gmail.com or WhatsApp +1 (757) 237-1724. Thank You.
BE SMART AND BECOME RICH IN LESS THAN 3DAYS….It all depends on how fast
you can be to get the new PROGRAMMED blank ATM card that is capable of
hacking into any ATM machine,anywhere in the world. I got to know about
this BLANK ATM CARD when I was searching for job online about a month
ago..It has really changed my life for good and now I can say I’m rich and
I can never be poor again. The least money I get in a day with it is about
$50,000.(fifty thousand USD) Every now and then I keeping pumping money
into my account. Though is illegal,there is no risk of being caught
,because it has been programmed in such a way that it is not traceable,it
also has a technique that makes it impossible for the CCTVs to detect
you..For details on how to get yours today, email the hackers on : (
atmmachinehackers1@gmail.com < Tell your
loved once too, and start to live large. That's the simple testimony of how
my life changed for good…Love you all .
….
I have always dreamt of winning BIG in the lottery. I surfed the internet for help to win the lottery massively and I was directed to LORD RICHARD. I had a chat with him about what I needed and he assured me that his spell will make me become a lottery winner. He got back to me after 3 days with the numbers that I needed to play the lottery and told me to believe in myself. I felt enveloped by the control of the spell. I took his words and played the Mega Millions Lottery. Two days later, I was sent an email that I’ve won the sum of 100 Million Dollars. I was shocked and couldn’t believe what my eyes were seeing. Immediately I was given the cash prize, I stopped working. I want to say a very big thank you to LORD RICHARD for helping people like us who really need help. Now I know that there’s absolutely nothing too hard for LORD RICHARD to do. To get in touch with him, : Email: lordrichardspell@gmail.com whatsaap number +1(360)884-0286
HOW I GOT MY EX BACK WITH THE HELP OF A SPELL CASTER WhatsApp +2349161779461
Hello everyone my name is Kiara Hahn from California US. I’m here to testify of a great and powerful spell caster called Dr Jakuta. I was so confused and devastated when my fiance left me without a word, I’ve spent the last month crying and feeling guilty. I wasn’t talking to anybody, so one day I search online on love tips because I needed him back desperately and I loved him so much, until I found Dr Jakuta who has solved so many relationship problems then I contacted him and he promised that in less than 72hrs he will come back to me. After I did all he asked, to my greatest surprise my fiance who had refused to speak with me came to my house and asked for forgiveness for all he had made me go through and now we are living happily together, if you have any relationship problem you can contact him Below are his contact details: Email him at doctorjakutaspellcaster24@gmail. com or
WhatsApp +2349161779461
Contact Doctor Odunga at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com if you want to get your Husband, Wife, Boyfriend and Girlfriend back now and regain your happiness.
I am from the USA. I live in Wallins Creek, Kentucky. I have just experienced the wonders of Doctor Odunga love spell that have been spread on the internet and worldwide, How he marvelously helped people all over the world to restore their marriage life and get back lost lovers, and also help to win the lottery. I contacted him after going through so many testimonies from different people about how he helped to bring his ex lover back, i told him about my husband that abandoned me about 8 months ago, and left home with all I had.. Dr Odunga only told me to smile and have a rest of mind. He will handle it all in just 24 hours, After the second day my husband called me, i was just so shocked, i picked the call and couldn’t believe my ears, he was really begging me to forgive him and making promises on the phone.. He came back home and also got me a new car just for him to prove his love for me. I was so happy and called Dr Odunga and thanked him, he only told me to share the good news all over the world. Well if your need an effective and real spell caster contact Dr Odunga Via email: odungaspelltemple@gmail.com OR Whats App +2348167159012
Good News!
I have found a Powerful love spells that work Immediately to help you get your ex-lover back with 100% guaranteed❤️
After working with him, I couldn’t believe my eyes. super fast and reliable, thank you so much Dr. Excellent for your incredible service. I was heart broken when my husband left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but I could not control the pains that tormented my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because I was really in love with my husband. I have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that directed me to Dr. Excellent a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 11hours. Me and my husband are living happily together again, This man is powerful, Contact Dr. Excellent for any kind of spiritual problems or any kind of spell or relationship problems he is capable of making things right for you with no side effect. Here his contact. WhatsApp him at: +2348084273514 “Or email him at: Excellentspellcaster@gmail. com
I was able to get rid of my herpes with herbal medicine which was prepared and shipped to me by Dr Osazu. He’s a great spell casger and herbalist everyone should know about, he has cures for all types of diseases and viruses in the body. You may need Dr Osazu assistance. His email osazu_spell@outlook.com
Whenever you saw a recommendation about this spell caster called Dr. Excellent don’t doubt he’s the best love spell caster, I appreciate the effort of Dr. Excellent for helping me to bring back my husband.. I was heart broken when my husband left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but I could not control the pains that tormented my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because I was really in love with my husband. I have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that directed me to Dr. Excellent a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 11hours. Me and my husband are living happily together again, This man is powerful, Contact Dr. Excellent for any kind of spiritual problems or any kind of spell or relationship problems he is capable of making things right for you with no side effect. Here his contact. WhatsApp him at: +2348084273514 “Or email him at: Excellentspellcaster@gmail. com .
I won the $10million lottery jackpot twice within one year, although it was not by my powers. I’m Wayne Murray from Brooklyn, i was very lucky to contact Dr Lucas a great spell caster that has never fail, when i contacted Dr Lucas through the Email and WhatsApp i got online he responded to me at once and i explained to him that i want to win the lottery, his response was that making people win the lottery is the easiest thing for him to do, so he started working on my spell immediately i provided all the necessary requirements for him, i was curious to know how it is going to work and how I’m going to win with his numbers so that made me obbey all his instructions, after 48hours he gave me the numbers and instructed me on how to play, so when i played i actually WON, but i still didn’t believe he did it then, so i pleaded with him to give me another numbers again which he freely did, and to my greatest surprise I won the second time, Dr Lucas is real and genuine, tested and trusted. I never wanted to mention this on social media but i can’t keep this to myself alone, i need people to also benefit from the blessings of Dr Lucas, his Email is Drlucasspelltemple@gmail. com or WhatsApp him on +234 904 794 3567 this is the best tips i can give to anyone who’s trying to win the lottery.
My husband Left me after years of our marriage, Dr. Salem started the spiritual prayer on my husband. And gave me so much assurance and guaranteed me that he was going to bring my husband back to my feet in just 48 hours of the prayer. I was so confident in his work and just as he said in the beginning, my husband is finally back to me again. Yes he is back with all his hearts, Love, care, emotions and flowers and things are better now. I would have no hesitation to recommend him to anybody who is in need of help.. Dr. Salem’s Email- salemmanifestloverspell@gmail.com
Website: https://65a1c79f02ded.site123.me
Most people get into a marriage with high and full spirits. They know full well what they are getting into and accept this with an open heart. While you may say that there is a lot of type in marriages especially on the days leading up to the wedding day, it can get a bit frustrating to have a misunderstanding in your relationship. I have been through hell with my husband for a very long time but With the help of the great spell caster, I was able to resolve my marriage issue and now I finally find happiness in my marriage. For anyone going through any kind of relationship issue or you like to get back with your ex, I will suggest getting in touch with the best relationship advice specialist that will bring happiness back into your home. You can get in touch with The Great LORD RICHARD relationship and affair advisor on WhatsApp: + 1 (360)884-0286 or lordrichardspell@gmail.com . He is always ready to help people and bring back happiness into your life.
special divine .
From Ohio United states
If not for Baba Powers what would my life turn out to be? I want you all to please contact Baba Powers now to get the powerful black mirror from him. I want you all to also BELIEVE AND TRUST HIM because whatever he tells you is the TRUTH and 100% guaranteed. The black mirror makes it happen, attracts abundance. I bought the black mirror from Baba Powers and now, I am super rich and successful with the help of the black mirror. When I first saw the testimonies of Baba Powers of the black mirror, I thought it was a joke but I contacted him to be sure for myself and to my greatest surprise, the black mirror is real. The black mirror is powerful. Check him out on his website to see plenty of amazing testimonies from people about him. These are some of the people that he has helped. Here is his website; Babablackmirrorsofpowers.blogspot.com and here is his email; Babablackmirrors@gmail.com I really can’t thank you enough Baba Powers. God bless you, thank you,,,
If not for Baba Powers what would my life turn out to be? I want you all to please contact Baba Powers now to get the powerful black mirror from him. I want you all to also BELIEVE AND TRUST HIM because whatever he tells you is the TRUTH and 100% guaranteed. The black mirror makes it happen, attracts abundance. I bought the black mirror from Baba Powers and now, I am super rich and successful with the help of the black mirror. When I first saw the testimonies of Baba Powers of the black mirror, I thought it was a joke but I contacted him to be sure for myself and to my greatest surprise, the black mirror is real. The black mirror is powerful. Check him out on his website to see plenty of amazing testimonies from people about him. These are some of the people that he has helped. Here is his website; Babablackmirrorsofpowers.blogspot.com and here is his email; Babablackmirrors@gmail.com I really can’t thank you enough Baba Powers. God bless you, thank you,.,.,.
It will amaze you to know that everything so many people have been testifying about DR Allwell is nothing but the truth. My husband left me and my kids because we had so many fights and arguments. His people were also against my marriage with him. I loved him so much and had great hope that we will build a bright future together. I waited for 6 months and he never returned back to me. So i had to contact DR Allwell who did everything in his power to reunite us and restore the love and happiness we once shared. He returned back home to us after 48 hours just as DR Allwell assured me. You too can get this great help and live to be grateful to him because he never disappoints anyone. contact Him email:drallwellspellcaster@gmail.com
If not for Baba Powers what would my life turn out to be? I want you all to please contact Baba Powers now to get the powerful black mirror from him. I want you all to also BELIEVE AND TRUST HIM because whatever he tells you is the TRUTH and 100% guaranteed. The black mirror makes it happen, attracts abundance. I bought the black mirror from Baba Powers and now, I am super rich and successful with the help of the black mirror. When I first saw the testimonies of Baba Powers of the black mirror, I thought it was a joke but I contacted him to be sure for myself and to my greatest surprise, the black mirror is real. The black mirror is powerful. Check him out on his website to see plenty of amazing testimonies from people about him. These are some of the people that he has helped. Here is his website; Babablackmirrorsofpowers.blogspot.com and here is his email; Babablackmirrors@gmail.com I really can’t thank you enough Baba Powers. God bless you, thank you