Dear Deb:Why aren’t my adult children angrier at their father for cheating and leaving after 36 years of marriage? They were at first but now they are talking to him again and they’ve even met his girlfriend. I want my Ex to have consequences for his actions. I feel betrayed
Would you rather have a breakthrough or a setback? It’s all in how you’re looking at it. The good news: What’s going wrong is subject to interpretation. The bad news: Most of us default to negative interpretations of difficult and unchosen circumstances. But we don’t have to stick with our
“What’s a good way to stop feeling left out in a world of couples? I’m heading to a picnic in a little while, party of one. At least I am going, proud of myself for that!”One of the members of my wonderful Thriving After Divorce Facebook group posted this a few weeks
When looking back at life from a distance, we get a perspective we didn’t have while in the thick of things. Imagine that you could bend time and sit down to tea with yourself at age 99. What would your elder self, who already knows how it all turned out, say
A friend recently asked, “How can I be more confident?” The answer is to act “as if” you’re already a confident person. This results in more actual confidence. This can work with any quality you want to cultivate . . . happiness, kindness, productivity, acceptance, etc. Ask yourself, “What does
This is a question I get frequently, and it’s understandable. When you’ve been married most or all of your adult life, the question of how long it’s going to take to get over it is top of mind. After being married for years, it’s natural to strongly identify yourself in
Dear Deb:I thought I’d married a great guy and that we had a good marriage. Then I found out he had an affair for the last five years of our 22-year marriage. The divorce is bad enough, but I’ve lost all faith in humanity. How will I ever be able
Some people naturally enjoy being alone. Others, not so much. In either case, being alone after the ending of your marriage has a different, more lonely quality to it that’s part of the normal sadness that comes with divorce. As your recovery progresses, cultivating a love for your own company
Your Divorce Recovery Type determines how fast and how thoroughly you’ll recover, heal and thrive after divorce. Each type has a unique way of responding to the stresses and opportunities faced during divorce recovery. Once you’re aware of your type’s strengths and blind spots, you can take the right steps
Seeing yourself as the victim feels natural if your Ex cheated, lied, was a card-carrying narcissist, or an insufferable a-hole (or all of the above). But, sadly, labeling yourself a victim strips you of your power and piles pain on pain.Your Ex may have done terrible things and hurt you. Maybe,