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Free in Three: Simple & Effective Process to Calm Your Worried Mind

Worry and stress are part of the territory during divorce recovery. Thankfully, you don’t have to suffer. I’ve developed a simple but very effective process to increase your sense of calm and peace of mind in just a few minutes.

If you would rather read than watch, below is a transcript:
For me, worrying is something I’ve wrestled with all of my life. In my baby book, my mom wrote down one of my first sentences and it was, “Me so worried.” Unfortunately, that’s not a joke! I’ve come from a long line of worriers. I won’t name names but some in my family are masters of the worst-case scenario. I’ve done a lot of work on myself to overcome my worrying habit but some days it still gets to me.

A while back, I was having a day and, out of desperation, I worked out this process. Since then, I’ve used it many times to calm my mind and get into a more peaceful place. I’ve shared it with my coaching clients and they love it. Today I want to share it with you. I call it the Free-in-Three Process and it consists of three simple steps:

First Step (1 Minute): Where am I right now?

I noticed that when I go down the rabbit hole, it’s usually because I’m worried about something in the future. For you, it could be rehashing something in the past. So, the first step is to get present by asking “Where am I right now?”

Then, take one minute to literally feel yourself inside your body. Feel your feet on the floor, your butt in the chair, and the breath going slowly in and out of your body. See what’s in front of you, not what’s in your head but what your eyes are looking at. Listen to the sounds around you, not what the voice in your head is saying, but what your ears are actually hearing. This brings you back to right now. I like to remind myself that right now is where all of my power is.

Second Step (2 Minutes): “Thank You” Flood

Once you get rooted in the present, do a two-minute “thank you” flood. This is a stream of consciousness gratitude. Write thank you for anything and everything that pops into my mind for two minutes. Here are some examples: Thank you for my shoes. Thank you for chocolate. Thank you for my cat. Thank you for my best friend. Whatever! Don’t edit. Just set a timer for two minutes and go.

Third Step (3 Minutes): Upgrade your“What ifs?”

This last part is my favorite. Worrying all is about what ifs? What if this happens? Or, what if it doesn’t? What if everything is terrible and my life falls apart? For three minutes, you’re going to write down “What ifs” that are the opposite of what you’re worried about.

Here are some examples: What if I get over this divorce and go on to live an amazing life? What if I’m now free to live the life I was meant to live? What if my life is filled with love, joy and happiness? What if my life is better than ever after divorce? What if I meet the love of my life? What if I completely let go of my Ex and I’m not bothered by anything they say or do?
Set your timer for three minutes and write out your best-case scenario “what ifs.”

Doing this always makes me feel better. It’s so quick and easy, you can do it more than once a day if needed. Or it can become part of your regular morning ritual for a while to start your day on a positive note.

To make it simple, I’ve attached a PDF worksheet you can use to do the process. Let me know how it goes!
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