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How long does it take to get over a decades-long marriage?
This is a question I get frequently, and it’s understandable. When you’ve been married most or all of your adult life, the question of how long it’s going to take to get over it is top of mind. After being married for years, it’s natural to strongly identify yourself in the context of being a “wife” or “husband.” Aside from getting over the divorce, you’re discovering who you are on your own—a question you may not have asked yourself for 20, 30, 40 years, or more.
Although divorce recovery is a process that takes as long as it takes, there are several things that will keep it moving or slow it down. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Steer Clear of Formulas
We humans love to have things quantified; it makes us feel safe when we know what to expect. There are commonly quoted equations for recovery, such as X number of months for every Y years married. Not only are these not truly helpful or even accurate, but they can have a chilling effect on someone divorcing after decades of marriage.
Although time plays a role, it’s not the most critical factor in recovery. The single most important factor in determining how long it takes to recover is your decision to do what it takes to recover. Following that, the actions you take to support yourself and how much you actively work on your recovery determine the length of your recovery.
Expect Twists and Turns
Healing from divorce is not a straight line. Sadness or anger can be triggered months or even years later with new milestones like the holidays, the day the divorce is final or your Ex getting remarried. Pain is information — it’s your heart’s way of telling you that something is ready to be acknowledged, healed and released. If you’ve been working on your recovery, you’re more likely to bounce back quicker. Just remember everyone is at their own pace, and setbacks are a normal part of recovery.
Be Where You’re At
This may not be what you would have chosen but here you are. You’re in pain and you want to know how soon you will be out of pain. That’s normal. We’re wired to resist being emotionally uncomfortable but resistance — of your feelings or your situation — stalls your recovery. Accepting your reality and allowing yourself to face and walk through your pain reduces your suffering.
Show Up for Yourself
The length and completeness of your recovery depend almost entirely on the actions you’re willing to take on your own behalf. Knowing this, you can decide to invest in yourself and do what it takes to get through it and get over it. That means you’ll:
- Take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally
- Gather a support tribe that includes good friends and family who will be there for you
- Decide you’re going to use your divorce experience to learn about yourself and grow
- Actively support yourself and your recovery with a combination of therapy, coaching, books, courses and support groups
- Give yourself your own love and compassion
- Avoid numbing yourself with drugs, alcohol, shopping, or jumping into a new relationship too soon
While you can’t and shouldn’t bypass the recovery process, your determination and proactive response will make the most significant impact on how long it takes.
With Love,
Deb
See Coping with the Pain of Divorce for more tips on how to support yourself.
Helpful Resources:
- Join my new Thriving After Divorce Facebook Group!
- Get a free copy of my top-selling book Something Gained: 7 Shifts to Be Stronger, Smarter & Happier After Divorce for tools and insights to recover, heal and thrive! (You just pay for shipping.)
Visit www.DebPurdy.com for more information.
Join the conversation on social media:
Instagram: @lovedebpurdy
Twitter: @lovedebpurdy
Facebook Group: Thrive After Divorce Facebook Group
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I have been suffering from Herpes for the past 1 years and 8 months, and ever since then I have been taking series of treatment but there was no improvement until I came across testimonies of Dr. Silver on how he has been curing different people from different diseases all over the world, then I contacted him as well. After our conversation he sent me the medicine which I took according to his instructions. When I was done taking the herbal medicine I went for a medical checkup and to my greatest surprise I was cured from Herpes. My heart is so filled with joy. If you are suffering from Herpes or any other disease you can contact Dr. Silver today on this Email address: drsilverhealingtemple@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348120513902
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I have been suffering from Herpes for the past 1 years and 8 months, and ever since then I have been taking series of treatment but there was no improvement until I came across testimonies of Dr. Silver on how he has been curing different people from different diseases all over the world, then I contacted him as well. After our conversation he sent me the medicine which I took according to his instructions. When I was done taking the herbal medicine I went for a medical checkup and to my greatest surprise I was cured from Herpes. My heart is so filled with joy. If you are suffering from Herpes or any other disease you can contact Dr. Silver today on this Email address: drsilverhealingtemple@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348120513902
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Get Your Love Back
Fruit Of The Womb
Fibroid
Business Boom
Financial Breakthrough
Get Rich Without Ritual
Do As I Say
Bad Dream
Promise And Fail
Epilepsy
Land/Court Case
Mental Disorder
Political Appointment
Visa Approval
Cancer
Examination Success
Spend And Get Back
Good Luck
Natural Neath
Hypertension
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Impotency
Win Court case
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Hi guys, i don’t have much to say now now, Than to say thanks to Dr. Monday for rescuing me and my family from poverty, and for getting my husband and my Job back, i love playing lottery , but winning is my biggest problem, Ill never forget the day i come in contact with Dr Monday, whose lottery spell make me a winner, some million Dollars , after giving me a sure winning numbers within 3 days to play,my financial status is settled for good,now i have started to live my dream life after 12 years of playing the lottery A big thanks to Dr Monday, am grateful for all you have done for me and family, he can be reach on Via WhatsApp +234 705 993 7909,
AUDIENCE PLEASE READ THIS.
Hello, my name is Anita Wolverine from the United States. I am excited to write this article for people seeking help in any marriage and relationship breakup. The Prophet Isaac reunited me with a lost lover and the Prophet Isaac has helped me restore peace and love in many relationships and marital situations. I emailed him via urspellcast01@gmail.com telling him my problem and how my husband left me. Prophet Isaac encouraged me and told me that my husband will return home within 3 days. 48 hours later everything was like a dream when my husband texted me and said please my love forgive me and take me back.
If you are separated from Ex boyfriend/girlfriend or has your husband/wife left you and moved on to another woman/man, do you want to get pregnant, don’t feel sad anymore, contact Prophet Isaac via the i shall provide below.
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PROPHET ISAAC IS A GREAT MAN!!!
AUDIENCE PLEASE READ THIS.
Hello, my name is Anita Wolverine from the United States. I am excited to write this article for people seeking help in any marriage and relationship breakup. The Prophet Isaac reunited me with a lost lover and the Prophet Isaac has helped me restore peace and love in many relationships and marital situations. I emailed him via urgentspellcast01@gmail.com telling him my problem and how my husband left me. Prophet Isaac encouraged me and told me that my husband will return home within 3 days. 48 hours later everything was like a dream when my husband texted me and said please my love forgive me and take me back.
If you are separated from Ex boyfriend/girlfriend or has your husband/wife left you and moved on to another woman/man, do you want to get pregnant, don’t feel sad anymore, contact Prophet Isaac via the i shall provide below.
Email: urgentspellcast01@gmail.com
PROPHET ISAAC IS A GREAT MAN!!!
He cast spells for different purposes like(1) If you want your ex back.
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I’m Angel Castor from the US. White Caucasian Female. I’m 43 years old and I got married at the age of 25, I have only two children and I am living happily.
Five years ago, my husband’s behavior became so strange that I didn’t really understand what was going on. He packed out of the house to another woman’s house and I love him so much that I
never dream of losing him, I tried my best to make sure that my husband got back to me but all to no avail, I cried and cried seeking help. I discussed it with my best friend Alison and she told me she can help me. She told me of a man called Dr. Odunga, she told me he is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing concerning love and Pregnancy issues he cannot solve and she told me how he has helped her and countless number of people in
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Now You Can Stop Your Break Up, Divorce or Lovers Rejection…Even If Your Situation Seems Hopeless! I contacted a real spell caster Dr Gerald that helped me change my husband’s heart to love and want me again, and he really did and now we are very happy together. If you are here and your Lover is turning you down I will advise you to contact Dr Gerald. The potency of his spell is so effective and can reunite broken relationships and can also make one get pregnant no matter the situation and not only that, he also has the power to cure all types of diseases within the period of 48hours. I am a great testimony. Contact him today and thank me later. You can also contact him on WhatsApp: +14242983869
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I have been suffering from Herpes for the past 1 years and 8 months, and ever since then I have been taking series of treatment but there was no improvement until I came across testimonies of Dr. Osazu on how he has been curing different people from different diseases all over the world, then I contacted him as well. After our conversation he sent me the medicine which I took according to his instructions. When I was done taking the herbal medicine I went for a medical checkup and to my greatest surprise I was cured from Herpes. My heart is so filled with joy. If you are suffering from Herpes or any other disease you can contact Dr. Osazu today on this Email address: osazu_spell@outlook.com
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I want to give thanks to Dr Gerald for bringing back my ex husband. No one could have ever made me believe that the article I’m about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like this, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Dr Gerald is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person, It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles, I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn’t face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. and he broke up with me again. I was confused and do not know what to do again, rather them to get in contact with Dr Gerald. He did a love spell that made my husband come back to me. We are now very much happy with ourselves. Dr Gerald makes him realize how much we love and need each other. This man is for REAL and for good, he can also help you to fix your broken relationship. I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well, in our love life. Contact
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I feel so blessed again in my marriage after Doctor Oku brought back my husband that separated with me for a good 3 months. Even though I have mouths all over my body, it won’t be enough to thank Doctor Oku for his help in my life. My husband separated with me for 3 months and has been in pain and agony without him. So, I searched for help everywhere but nothing worked out, not until I meant Doctor Oku who I contacted online. I explained my situation to him and he promised that my husband will get back to me within 48 to 72 hours as long as my heart still beats for him. I believed in him and he prepared a spell for me and my husband called me exactly when Doctor Oku said. He pleaded and said he needs me back and now we are living happily again for the past 9 months. Everyone out there reading my article that needs help should contact him… Email: okutemple@gmail.com or whatsApp him +2347053113465
I have been suffering from Herpes for the past 1 years and 8 months, and ever since then I have been taking series of treatment but there was no improvement until I came across testimonies of Dr. Silver on how he has been curing different people from different diseases all over the world, then I contacted him as well. After our conversation he sent me the medicine which I took according to his instructions. When I was done taking the herbal medicine I went for a medical checkup and to my greatest surprise I was cured from Herpes. My heart is so filled with joy. If you are suffering from Herpes or any other disease you can contact Dr. Silver today on this Email address: drsilverhealingtemple@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348120513902
[].
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I have a testimony to share..
It can only be God. Having my ex husband back has brought great joy in my life. My husband left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but I could not control the pains that tormented my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because I was really in love with my husband. I have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that darted me to Dr.Mako a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 24hours. Me and my husband and I are living happily together today, This man is powerful. You can contact him now. I will advise anyone that has marriage or relationship problems to contact Dr Mako now he’s the solution to all your problems. Here is his contact. WhatsApp him at: +27840213744″Or email him at: Makospelltemple@gmail.com
Name. Dena Sarah
I have a testimony to share..
It can only be God. Having my ex husband back has brought great joy in my life. My husband left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but I could not control the pains that tormented my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because I was really in love with my husband. I have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that darted me to Dr.Mako a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 24hours. Me and my husband and I are living happily together today, This man is powerful. You can contact him now. I will advise anyone that has marriage or relationship problems to contact Dr Mako now he’s the solution to all your problems. Here is his contact. WhatsApp him at: +27840213744″Or email him at: Makospelltemple@gmail.com
Name. Dena Sarah
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