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Dating Smart After Divorce
Not surprisingly, smart dating after divorce requires a new approach. One that is reflective and thoughtful in a different way than you may have been before. It’s time to milk your marriage and divorce for information and take lessons from your experiences to make choices that work better for you. Sure, you can cast your net hoping for a good match based on chemistry. (How has that worked for you?) Or, you can seek to discern true compatibility on a deeper and more intentional level which also includes, but is not solely dependent on, chemistry.
While the right “timing” to start dating after divorce varies wildly by individual, thinking through these three things before wading back into the dating pool can make all the difference in the success of your next relationship:
Decide WHAT You Want
Are you ready to embark on your next long-term relationship with an eye toward remarriage, or do you simply want to find a dating buddy for some no-commitment fun? And, if you are ready for your next relationship adventure, what’s your vision of an ideal partnership? It’s worth taking some time to get clear on what you want and put words to it. While no relationship will be perfect, you have a much greater chance of matching up with a like-minded person if you can articulate your relationship goals.
Make a list of your relationship “top five” to help you hone in on and name what’s most important to you. For example:
1. We laugh every day and we are playful together
2. We balance time together with our individual interests
3. We’re very affectionate and enjoy a fantastic sex life
4. We both love to entertain and play host to friends and family
5. We share an interest in having adventures and staying healthy, fit and active
Make sure your top five focus on what you want, not what you don’t. You would say, “We’re both loyal, honest and true to each other,” instead of “Neither of us would ever cheat.”
When you meet someone with potential, ask that person to share their top five. This is worth doing to find out if your relationship wants and values are a fit. Remember, you don’t have to align perfectly. Just explore and discover if your goals are compatible and interesting to each other.
Decide WHO You Want
Like many of us, you may have chosen your Ex based on chemistry, physical attraction, and the excitement that’s present in the initial stages of romance when everything feels amazing. Now, you know from experience that those things alone are not enough to create a wonderful and lasting relationship (this information is a gift). Use the knowledge you’ve gained to consider what qualities are important to you for the long haul.
I suggest making a list of relationship requirements for next time. The list should include your “non-negotiables,” which are a handful of qualities that must be present in your next partner. This isn’t meant to be an impossible standard that no mere mortal can live up to. Instead, it’s a thoughtful examination of what qualities are most important to you, so you can recognize them when you see them and when you don’t.
To be clear, this isn’t about physical characteristics but rather about character. For example, a sense of humor, kindness, and integrity might be on your list of “must haves.” Also include the “nice to haves” such as mutual interest in learning new things, ballroom dancing or traveling. Again, you’re not going to find a perfect fit but, for example, knowing that dependability is one of your non-negotiables will help you weed out those who flake out on plans or do a disappearing act when you need emotional support.
Decide Who YOU Want to Be
Don’t wait to get into a relationship to live your best life. Be the kind of person that you’re looking for. The more you take care of yourself and become self-fulfilled, the more people will want to be with you.
—Make sure you’ve taken time to heal from your past relationship. That means it’s not first and foremost in your mind most of the time. You’ve forgiven yourself and your Ex, you recognize your role in what went wrong, and you are learning from it. You’ve let go of the anger and bitterness so you can be fully present for your next partner.
—Make a list of your relationship assets—that is everything you are looking forward to giving, contributing, and sharing with your next partner. This can include everything from your comforting bear hugs to your ability to listen without judgment to your famous BBQ chicken.
—Love yourself and get comfortable in your own company. It’s much better to be moving toward something you want rather than trying to get away from being alone. You choose from a much higher level when you aren’t trying to fill a gap in your life with a warm body.
If dating and finding love is your next big adventure, relax and have fun with it!
Helpful Resources:
- Get a free copy of my top-selling book Something Gained: 7 Shifts to Be Stronger, Smarter & Happier After Divorce for tools and insights to recover, heal and thrive! (You just pay for shipping.)
- Join my Thriving After Divorce Facebook Group!
- Sign up on my website and get two free gifts!
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Hello my name is Shenny Bones from USA New York, I want to testify to the general public how my relationship was restored back by the great power’s of Dr Peter after three months of loneliness, my Ex-lover called me after my contact with Dr Peter that he want us to come back and start a good home, now we are happily together again as lovers. All thanks to Dr Peter who did a love spell for me for my Ex lover to return home. I will keep sharing this until people who also need help see this for his wonderful help. Contact him via email drpeterspellcaster21@gmail.com
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He cast spells for different purposes like(1) If you want your ex back.
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Hello everyone my name is Kiara Hahn from California US. I’m here to testify of a great and powerful spell caster called Dr Jakuta. I was so confused and devastated when my fiance left me without a word, I’ve spent the last month crying and feeling guilty. I wasn’t talking to anybody, so one day I search online on love tips because I needed him back desperately and I loved him so much, until I found Dr Jakuta who has solved so many relationship problems then I contacted him and he promised that in less than 72hrs he will come back to me. After I did all he asked, to my greatest surprise my fiance who had refused to speak with me came to my house and asked for forgiveness for all he had made me go through and now we are living happily together, if you have any relationship problem you can contact him Below are his contact details: Email him at doctorjakutaspellcaster24@gmail. com or
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HOW I GOT MY EX BACK WITH THE HELP OF A SPELL CASTER WhatsApp +2349161779461
Hello everyone my name is Kiara Hahn from California US. I’m here to testify of a great and powerful spell caster called Dr Jakuta. I was so confused and devastated when my fiance left me without a word, I’ve spent the last month crying and feeling guilty. I wasn’t talking to anybody, so one day I search online on love tips because I needed him back desperately and I loved him so much, until I found Dr Jakuta who has solved so many relationship problems then I contacted him and he promised that in less than 72hrs he will come back to me. After I did all he asked, to my greatest surprise my fiance who had refused to speak with me came to my house and asked for forgiveness for all he had made me go through and now we are living happily together, if you have any relationship problem you can contact him Below are his contact details: Email him at doctorjakutaspellcaster24@gmail. com or
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I’m Angel Castor from the US. White Caucasian Female. I’m 43 years old and I got married at the age of 25, I have only two children and I am living happily.
After five years of marriage my husband’s behavior became so strange that I didn’t really understand what was going on. He packed out of the house to another woman’s house and I love him so much that I
never dream of losing him, I tried my best to make sure that my husband got back to me but all to no avail, I cried and cried seeking help. I discussed it with my best friend Alison and she told me she can help me. She told me of a man called Dr. Odunga, she told me he is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing concerning love and Pregnancy issues he cannot solve and she told me how he has helped her and countless number of people in
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I’m Elvis Leksik, after 4 years in marriage my wife divorce me, I did all i could to get her back but all proved abortive, until a friend of mine introduce me to a spell caster Dr.ODUDUA who helped him with similar issue, at first i doubted but decided to give a try. Surprisingly, he helped me cast a love spell that reunited me with my wife within 3 days. I can’t stop thanking Dr.Oduduwa, Contact this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage issues : droduduwas@gmail.com
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Hello everyone my name is Kiara Hahn from California US. I’m here to testify of a great and powerful spell caster called Dr Jakuta. I was so confused and devastated when my fiance left me without a word, I’ve spent the last month crying and feeling guilty. I wasn’t talking to anybody, so one day I search online on love tips because I needed him back desperately and I loved him so much, until I found Dr Jakuta who has solved so many relationship problems then I contacted him and he promised that in less than 72hrs he will come back to me. After I did all he asked, to my greatest surprise my fiance who had refused to speak with me came to my house and asked for forgiveness for all he had made me go through and now we are living happily together, if you have any relationship problem you can contact him Below are his contact details: Email him at doctorjakutaspellcaster24@gmail. com or
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Good work deserves good recommendation, I met a powerful spell caster who is 100% real and powerful. I was heartbroken when my wife left me and moved out of the house. I felt my life was over and my world was crumbling around me. I tried to be strong just for the kids but I could not control the pains that tormented my heart, my heart was filled with sorrow and pain because I was really in love with my wife. I have tried many options but she did not come back, until a friend directed me to Dr Kala, a powerful spell caster and I explained my problem to him and he helped me to get my wife back within 24hrs. Me and my wife are living happily together again, This man is powerful and if you have any problem with your marriage and relationship? Just tell him your situation and he will help you. If you are in need of help to get your love back, you can contact Dr Kala on email: kalalovespell@gmail.com or WhatsApp +2347051705853
Most people get into a marriage with high and full spirits. They know full well what they are getting into and accept this with an open heart. While you may say that there is a lot of type in marriages especially on the days leading up to the wedding day, it can get a bit frustrating to have a misunderstanding in your relationship. I have been through hell with my husband for a very long time but With the help of the great spell caster, I was able to resolve my marriage issue and now I finally find happiness in my marriage. For anyone going through any kind of relationship issue or you like to get back with your ex, I will suggest getting in touch with the best relationship advice specialist that will bring happiness back into your home. You can get in touch with The Great LORD RICHARD relationship and affair advisor on WhatsApp: + 1 (360)884-0286 or lordrichardspell@gmail.com . He is always ready to help people and bring back happiness into your life.
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