How nice are you . . . to yourself?During divorce recovery, your inner critic can have a field day judging you and making you feel guilty or inadequate or worthless. This barrage of negative thoughts is having an impact on your optimism and belief in your ability to bounce back
I recently asked my social media audience to share some of the biggest challenges they’re having when it comes to divorce. Here’s a poignant response I received:“My biggest challenge has been understanding how my Ex can be so cold and uncaring after 28 years of marriage. Since our separation, he’s
Once, I lost my life savings in a bad investment. My marriage was a trainwreck, even though I went into it thinking I did everything right. My first business failed . . . hard. I didn’t ask my grandparents enough questions before they died. I could go on. Is it
There’s a reason getting over our marriages is so painful. We deeply invest our hearts in our intimate relationships and they become an essential part of us. That’s why betrayals are so traumatic. It’s also why an Ex can still feel like “your person” long after it’s over.The devastation of
Dear Deb:Why aren’t my adult children angrier at their father for cheating and leaving after 36 years of marriage? They were at first but now they are talking to him again and they’ve even met his girlfriend. I want my Ex to have consequences for his actions. I feel betrayed
Would you rather have a breakthrough or a setback? It’s all in how you’re looking at it. The good news: What’s going wrong is subject to interpretation. The bad news: Most of us default to negative interpretations of difficult and unchosen circumstances. But we don’t have to stick with our
“What’s a good way to stop feeling left out in a world of couples? I’m heading to a picnic in a little while, party of one. At least I am going, proud of myself for that!”One of the members of my wonderful Thriving After Divorce Facebook group posted this a few weeks
When looking back at life from a distance, we get a perspective we didn’t have while in the thick of things. Imagine that you could bend time and sit down to tea with yourself at age 99. What would your elder self, who already knows how it all turned out, say
A friend recently asked, “How can I be more confident?” The answer is to act “as if” you’re already a confident person. This results in more actual confidence. This can work with any quality you want to cultivate . . . happiness, kindness, productivity, acceptance, etc. Ask yourself, “What does
This is a question I get frequently, and it’s understandable. When you’ve been married most or all of your adult life, the question of how long it’s going to take to get over it is top of mind. After being married for years, it’s natural to strongly identify yourself in