Give Kids an Outlet for Their Feelings
When our children are upset or sad, many of us have a difficult time just “being” with them and their pain. We desperately want to fix it somehow or make them feel better. We say, “Don’t cry” or “There are people who have it a lot worse than you do.” We may even try to make them laugh or distract them in other ways. However, failing to acknowledge your kids’ feelings about your divorce and allowing them their full expression is the worst thing you can do. It sends the message that their feelings aren’t important or, even worse, that they can’t trust you with those feelings.
As hard as it is for you, especially if you’re already feeling guilty, the most precious gift you can give someone in pain is to listen with a closed mouth and an open heart. Don’t lecture. Don’t even commiserate (that makes it about you). Don’t tell them they shouldn’t feel that way, don’t try to solve their problem and don’t give advice. These are all called “Feeling Blockers” according to Ty and Linda Hatfield, parenting coaches and founders of Parenting From The Heart, which offers workshops on creating the family of your dreams.
Instead, Ty and Linda say to listen and acknowledge what you’re hearing. “It looks you’re feeling _______,” (fill in the blank with what you are observing, such as angry, hurt, annoyed, frustrated or overwhelmed). “I would imagine you’re feeling sad about not seeing your dad” or even “Uhmm, hmm” are all gentle ways to encourage your kids to open up about their feelings and needs.
Listen with Your Whole Self
Being masters of multitasking, we often do two or more things at once, and we do almost everything while continuously checking our phones. One of the most important things you can do for your kids is to stop, look into their eyes and listen with focused attention while they are speaking to you. Listen to the words but also listen to the energy and emotions under the words. By putting your full attention on your child, you will make a true connection with him or her. You will feel the difference and so will your child. He or she will feel heard in a very deep way.
When you make it an ongoing habit to create a safe and loving space for your kids to share their feelings by simply listening and encouraging, you build trust. You teach them that they and their feelings are important. You give them an outlet for their pain and you strengthen your connection with them in a way that will have a much larger impact on their lives than your divorce.
Use Time to Make Space
With our busy schedules, days or weeks can go by without downtime with our kids. Unfortunately, when the logistics of kids’ sports and activities combine with our early meetings and late conference calls, this kind of time together can fall by the wayside. Yet, relaxed moments together strengthen your connection to your kids, which is especially important during and after a divorce.
It’s important to set aside time to hang out with your kids, either engaging in a fun activity or letting the time be unstructured with no agenda. Whether you’re playing a game, making cookies together or lounging in the backyard, what you’re really doing is making space and time for your kids to open up and share feelings if they want to. They may or may not, that’s not important. What’s important is the gift of time with you focusing your attention on them. Regularly scheduled time together unites you as a family even as you are navigating tough experiences.
If you feel your kids are struggling, consider finding a therapist who specializes in children of divorce. This gives them a safe and neutral space to work through feelings they may be having a hard time expressing.
Next Week: Check the blog, or subscribe if you haven’t already, to get Part 3 of Helping Your Kids To Thrive After Divorce: Don’t Practice Poison Parenting
In case you missed it, here’s a link to Part 1: Give Your Kids Some Power
Deb Purdy, is a transformation coach, speaker, workshop leader and author of
Something Gained: 7 Shifts to Be Stronger, Smarter and Happier After Divorce.
Visit www.DebPurdy.com for more information.
Join the conversation on social media:
Instagram: @lovedebpurdy
Twitter: @lovedebpurdy
Facebook: debpurdyofficial
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Greetings, I’m sharing this because I know someone may be experiencing what I was going through in my relationship, my boyfriend has been abusive towards me and always find fault in anything I do and all this started all of a sudden. He used to be a loving and caring guy to me but all that changed when he travelled home and came back. I want peace to come back in my relationship so I searched for help, that was when I read about Dr Ajayi who is a powerful spell caster, I contacted Dr Ajayi and explained my relationship problem to him and he told me things to be done to save my relationship, at first I was afraid but because I really want peace in my relationship I did all that was asked from me and to my surprise, after a week of the job, my boyfriend went on knees and beg me for all the wrongs he has done to me and said he doesn’t know what came over him, now I’m a happy woman and peace reigns in my home. If you are having any kind of relationship problem Dr Ajayi is your last stop. You can reach him on Whatsapp : +2347084887094 or you Email : drajayi1990@gmail.com
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I want to give thanks to Dr Gerald for bringing back my ex husband. No one could have ever made me believe that the article I’m about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like this, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Dr Gerald is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person, It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles, I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn’t face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. and he broke up with me again. I was confused and do not know what to do again, rather them to get in contact with Dr Gerald. He did a love spell that made my husband come back to me. We are now very much happy with ourselves. Dr Gerald makes him realize how much we love and need each other. This man is for REAL and for good, he can also help you to fix your broken relationship. I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well, in our love life. Contact
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If not for Baba Powers what would my life turn out to be? I want you all to please contact Baba Powers now to get the powerful black mirror from him. I want you all to also BELIEVE AND TRUST HIM because whatever he tells you is the TRUTH and 100% guaranteed. The black mirror makes it happen, attracts abundance. I bought the black mirror from Baba Powers and now, I am super rich and successful with the help of the black mirror. When I first saw the testimonies of Baba Powers of the black mirror, I thought it was a joke but I contacted him to be sure for myself and to my greatest surprise, the black mirror is real. The black mirror is powerful. Check him out on his website to see plenty of amazing testimonies from people about him. These are some of the people that he has helped. Here is his website; Babablackmirrorsofpowers.blogspot.com and here is his email; Babablackmirrors@gmail.com I really can’t thank you enough Baba Powers. God bless you, thank you always and always
Most people get into a marriage with high and full spirits. They know full well what they are getting into and accept this with an open heart. While you may say that there is a lot of hype in marriages especially on the days leading up to the wedding day, it can get a bit frustrating to have a misunderstanding in your relationship. I have been through hell with my husband for a very long time. With the help of the great spell caster, I was able to resolve my marriage issue and now I finally find happiness in my marriage. For anyone going through any kind of relationship issue or you like to get back with your ex, I will suggest getting in touch with the best relationship advice specialist that will bring happiness back into your home. You can get in touch with The Great LORD RICHARD relationship and affair advisor on WhatsApp: + 1 (360)884-0286 or lordrichardspell@gmail.com . He is always ready to help people and bring back happiness into your life.
special divine .
From Ohio United states
I recommend you to get your herbal medicine through Herbal Miracle Medicine . He cured me from my herpes outbreak and now I am free . All thanks for your care and giving me my life back . If you are suffering from any illness you can get your medication from Doc Moses Buba on his .
email him on ( buba.herbalmiraclemedicine@gmail.com )
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I’m so excited my broken Marriage been restored. My ex lover is back after he left me and our kids for another woman. I was so happy to meet Dr Gerald and how he helped many people to bring their lover back so I contacted him to help me too. That was how Dr Gerald helped me to bring my lover back. A big thank you to Dr Gerald because I never thought my ex lover would be back to me so quickly with your spell. You are the best and the world greatest. If you are here and you need your Ex Lover back or your lover moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact:
Email: psychicspiritualrealm @ gmail . com
WhatsApp: +14242983869
Facebook Page: https://facebook.com/Psychicspiritualrealm
I was diagnosed of genital Herpes 6months ago and was in pain with the knowledge that there is no cure for the virus! there was a day I saw several post about a herbalist how he’s used natural herbal medicine to cure this particular virus, Immediately I contacted him on his website and he prepared and sent me the herbal medicine through DHL delivery and after 14days of usage, the Pain, and sores were gone i went to the hospital for test I’m the happiest woman on earth because I just tested negative to the virus! this testimony is real and thanks to Dr Ehiagwina you can also reach him on his Email: ehiagwinaherbalhome@gmail.com or on whatsapp: +2348162084504.
I want to testify to what Dr Ughulu did for me. I did everything I could do to bring my partner back but he didn’t come back he was with someone else luckily I saw a comment which directed me to a very good powerful and kind man called Dr Ughulu that helped me bring my partner back and now he loves me so much more than ever i am so happy with life now thank you so much Dr Ughulu, I really appreciate you for bringing back my partner to me in my life, all these years has been very sad for me, now I have been the most happiest woman on earth all because of what Dr Ughulu has done for me. You can contact through his email: drughulupowerfulspelltemple @ gmail .com or message him on Call/Text number: +1(252) 409-1841 or his website: https://drughulupowerfulsp.wixsite.com/my-site-ughulu
I am very happy today with my family. My husband left me for a good 3 years now, and i love him so much, i have been looking for a way to get him back since then. i have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that darted me to Dr. Osaka a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 2 weeks. Me and my husband are living happily together today, That man is great, you can contact him via email drosakalovespelltemple217@gmail.com… Now i will advice any serious persons that found themselves in this kind of problem to contact him now a fast solution without stress.. He always hello, now i call him my father. contact him now he is always online email (drosakalovespelltemple217@gmail.com) or contact him on his WhatsApp mobile line +2349024827182
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Many people have written articles about how they were helped by a spell caster but I am eternally grateful to this great man who brought my ex-husband back to me. This testimony is a true story and my name is Jennifer Sanchez. When I came in contact with this man was also through a testimony written about him helping with a cure for Herpes Virus and I have also encountered many testimonies about how he has been helping others with their life to win the lottery. To get back with an ex is one of the most innermost feelings many people would love to experience especially as those memories with our ex always cloud our mind when someone else does some of those things our ex used to do. I was a single parent of two boys for almost 6 years and though my ex-husband was not staying with me and the kids I still wish someday he will return to me. This doctor I encountered is known as Dr. Odunga helped me with my wishes and I am happy to write on this website that my ex-husband is back with me. I am very happy to share the testimony with everyone so that they too can meet this great doctor and solve their problems. I don’t know what others might feel about getting their ex back in their life but I always know there is a blessing in disguise with just a single re-connection with an ex. If you want to successfully get back with your ex or facing an infertility problem, contact this great man at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com Or WhatsApp/Call +2348167159012 and share an awesome testimony too just as I did
I thought the physicians said there is no cure for HSV 2!!! I am telling you today that DR. Oliver cured HSV 2 with herbal medicine and his cure is forever, it is never reversible, I have been suffering from this deadly disease called HSV 2 for more than 2years and lost all hope because my doctor says there is no cure for HSV 2. Brethren I saw a testimony on the internet on how DR. Oliver cured HSV, Hepatitis etc. with his herbal medication and an email and WhatsApp to contact him was also displayed, I thought this was a joke but I decided to contact him and he replied telling me not to worry that my problem is over . DR Oliver sent me a herbal medication to drink for one month but after only 2weeks I felt strange and I went to my doctor and he confirmed me negative. He can help you too. Contact him via Email: Droliverherbalcenter@gmail.com you can also go through his website, https://droliverherbalcent.wixsite.com/doctor-oliver or WhatsApp WhatsApp +2348110493039. He is capable of curing FIBROID, HERPES, HPV, HSV1&2, HEPATITIS A B C, and DIABETES ,VITILIGO.
I’m recommending Dr Oliver to everyone who has herpes simplex virus to get the cure from him. I was diagnosed with genital herpes in 2023 and I have been searching and asking questions to see if i could get something to cure the disease because i did not believe what the doctors say that no cure is found yet. I came across a comment on Youtube and the person testified how she was cured from herpes and hpv after using Dr Oliver herbal medicine. I quickly contacted Dr Oliver and explained my problem to him and he prepared the herbs and sent it to me through UPS and gave me instructions on how to use it and told me to go for checkup after usage which I did after two weeks of taking the herbal medicine and my result was NEGATIVE. I waited another month and retested, the result was still NEGATIVE and my doctor told me that I am completely free from herpes. Am so happy and grateful to Dr Oliver for what he has done for me and I will continue to share this for people out there to know that there is a cure for herpes. You can contact Dr Oliver on email and WhatsApp to get the cure from him. Email: Droliverherbalcenter@gmail.com or WhatsApp him on +2348110493039 you can also go through his website: https://droliverherbalcent.wixsite.com/doctor-oliver
I’m sharing my experience to you on how I won the lottery, you can win the lottery fast and reliable in wherever you are in the world, Dr Lucas is a God sent, I saw so many testimonials online on how he helped people won different kinds of lottery, I never believed so I had to contact him to be sure if he’s real and genuine, to my greatest surprise he helped me won the 70 million Lotto Max Jackpot in Canada, I’m Mitchel Dyck, I regularly buy the lottery tickets whenever I go to fill my truck almost all the time, Dr Lucas told me what I needed to do as he cast my spell which i followed without any mistakes, he gave me the numbers on the 2nd day of the spell and directed me on how to play and I really won with the numbers he gave me, I can’t explain all of my experience with Dr Lucas, you can review about my winnings online then give Dr Lucas a try and watch how you will win, Email him on Drlucasspelltemple@gmail.com or WhatsApp him on +234 904 794 3567 You’ll never regret contacting Dr Lucas ..
I’m sharing my experience to you on how I won the lottery, you can win the lottery fast and reliable in wherever you are in the world, Dr Lucas is a God sent, I saw so many testimonials online on how he helped people won different kinds of lottery, I never believed so I had to contact him to be sure if he’s real and genuine, to my greatest surprise he helped me won the 70 million Lotto Max Jackpot in Canada, I’m Mitchel Dyck, I regularly buy the lottery tickets whenever I go to fill my truck almost all the time, Dr Lucas told me what I needed to do as he cast my spell which i followed without any mistakes, he gave me the numbers on the 2nd day of the spell and directed me on how to play and I really won with the numbers he gave me, I can’t explain all of my experience with Dr Lucas, you can review about my winnings online then give Dr Lucas a try and watch how you will win, Email him on Drlucasspelltemple@gmail.com or WhatsApp him on +234 904 794 3567 You’ll never regret contacting Dr Lucas .
I am Dr. Ayo Christopher, I am a Great traditional Herbal Medicine Doctor. I specialize in treating any kind of diseases and infections using Herbs Medicine. I have the Herbal Cure for Diabetes, Virginal infection, Genital, Gonorrhea, warts virus infections, Leukemia, Breast Cancer, Lung Cancer, Menopause, Hepatitis A B C and HIV and other deadly infections. I have treated more than 20 patients that have Herpes (HSV 2) and all of them were cured. My herbal medicine is 100% safe, there are no side effects and You will start seeing clear results as early as 7 days.
If you have been taking conventional medicines for that Herpes infection and you are still having those re-occuring outbreaks, why don’t you try Herbal Medicines and see it get cured in weeks. For more information, send me an Email: ridvid8@gmail.com Skype: Dr.ayoherbalcure@outlook.com
Hello my name is Vivian Marcus from the United State, i’m so exciting writing this article to let people seek for help in any Break up Marriage and Relationship, Dr Kachi brought my Ex Boyfriend back to me, Thank you Sir Kachi for helped so many Relationship situation like mine to be restored, i was in pain until the day my aunt introduce me to Dr Kachi that she got her husband back with powerful love spell with help of Dr Kachi So i sent him an email telling him about my problem how my Boyfriend left me and cheating on me because of her boss lady at work i cry all day and night, but Dr Kachi told me my Boyfriend shall return back to me within 24hrs and to me everything he asked me to do the next day it was all like a dream when he text me and said please forgive me and accept me back exactly what i wanted, i am so happy now as we are back together again. because I never thought my Ex Boyfriend would be back to me so quickly with your spell. You are the best and the world greatest Dr Kachi. if you’re having broke up Ex Lover or your husband left you and moved to another woman, You do want to get Pregnant do not feel sad anymore contact: drkachispellcast@gmail.com his Text Number Call: +1 (209) 893-8075 You can reach him Website: https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site
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I have been suffering from Herpes for the past 1 years and 8 months, and ever since then I have been taking series of treatment but there was no improvement until I came across testimonies of Dr. Silver on how he has been curing different people from different diseases all over the world, then I contacted him as well. After our conversation he sent me the medicine which I took according to his instructions. When I was done taking the herbal medicine I went for a medical checkup and to my greatest surprise I was cured from Herpes. My heart is so filled with joy. If you are suffering from Herpes or any other disease you can contact Dr. Silver today on this Email address: drsilverhealingtemple@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348120513902
After 7yrs in marriage trying to conceive and fibroid was getting over my life. In the end it’s my greatest joy, after the help of DR.Easbnam I fell pregnant. I’m recommending everyone out here who is trying to get pregnant no matter the conditions that delay your pregnancy, either physical or spiritual problems holding your womb. you should also contact DR.Easbnam there will be a greater testimony for you. > email or whatsapp call… dreasbnamrootandherbal1@gmail.com + 2348106600701
{1}HIV/AIDS
{2}DIABETES
{3}EPILEPSY
{4} STROKE
{5} HPV
{6} PREGNANCY ISSUES
{7} HEPATITIS
{8} SICKLE AND ANAEMIA..
Dr. Oosa herbal medicine is a good remedy for Herpes, I was a carrier of Herpes and I saw a testimony on how Dr. Oosa cured Herpes, I decided to contact him and he guided me. I asked him for solutions and he started the remedies for my health. Doctor Oosa natural herbal medicine is 100% guaranteed and safe with zero side effects. Thank God, now everything is fine, I’m cured by Dr. Oosa herbal medicine, I’m very thankful to Dr. Oosa, because he is the best online natural herbal doctor to eradicate your viral infections or diseases, reach him on doctoroosaherbalhome@gmail.com or whatsapp: +4368110113787
Doctor Oosa can also cure the following:
CANCER, ALL KINDS
LUNGS AND LIVER DISEASES
HIV
DIABETES
HUMAN PAPILLOMAVIRUS (HPV)
GENITAL WARTS
HERPES ALL KINDS
PREGNANCY ISSUES
LOW SPERM COUNT
FIBROID
WEIGHT LOSS
HAIR LOSS
reach him on doctoroosaherbalhome@gmail.com or whatsapp: +4368110113787
Dr. Oosa herbal medicine is a good remedy for Herpes, I was a carrier of Herpes and I saw a testimony on how Dr. Oosa cured Herpes, I decided to contact him and he guided me. I asked him for solutions and he started the remedies for my health. Doctor Oosa natural herbal medicine is 100% guaranteed and safe with zero side effects. Thank God, now everything is fine, I’m cured by Dr. Oosa herbal medicine, I’m very thankful to Dr. Oosa, because he is the best online natural herbal doctor to eradicate your viral infections or diseases, reach him on doctoroosaherbalhome@gmail.com or whatsapp: +4368110113787
Doctor Oosa can also cure the following:
CANCER, ALL KINDS
LUNGS AND LIVER DISEASES
HIV
DIABETES
HUMAN PAPILLOMAVIRUS (HPV)
GENITAL WARTS
HERPES ALL KINDS
PREGNANCY ISSUES
LOW SPERM COUNT
FIBROID
WEIGHT LOSS
HAIR LOSS
reach him on doctoroosaherbalhome@gmail.com or whatsapp: +4368110113787
Great chances to have your man back to you and your kids with the help of DR ISIKOLO.
My husband left me and our 2 kids for about 10 months. I went through a lot of pain. I tried everything possible to make him return back to me and to the kids but nothing worked out. It was really a stressful period for me because I never wanted to go through the heartbreak. i was told to get a love spell doctor contacted to help me out which i did i was lucky to get DR ISIKOLO Contact who was able to help me out, i contacted him and explained everything to him and complied with his procedures and he did the love reunion spell that brought back my husband to me and to his kids in 2 days. thanks so much DR ISIKOLO. I really appreciate what you have done for me. Here is his contact if you may required for it by solving your relationship problems, His webpage: https://isikolo-temple.com or either way, text him via WhatsApp him on +2348133261196