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5 Women Share How Divorce Made Their Lives Better

Divorce isn’t what we plan or hope for on the day we get married. Navigating your emotions while dividing up physical and financial assets is messy. But, once we sort through the logistics and get past the shock, we can improve how we feel about divorce by looking at its potential for making our lives better. It’s not always obvious at first but often becomes clear with the perspective that comes with time.

By shifting from thinking of divorce as a relationship failure to an important life experience, we can use it to learn about ourselves and grow. Yes, you’re closing a chapter (maybe even one you didn’t want to close). But you’re also getting a life “do-over” with more wisdom and experience to work with.

To help you envision your better future, here are five women sharing why they are grateful for their chance to start over:

Betting on Myself

“I had no idea how I was going to support myself when my Ex filed for divorce. I hadn’t worked outside the home in years. I thought about my skills and remembered how much I love writing. So, although it was incredibly scary, I researched how to be a freelance writer and I got my first client. Two years later, I have regular clients and I love it. I’m so happy I took a chance on myself. Divorce may be the best time to take risks and go for what you really want!” Marney M.

 

I’ve got this!

“My divorce made me realize that I can take care of myself. I would like to have a partner, but I don’t NEED one to make my life work. If I get married again, I want an equal partnership based on mutual respect. I’ve built a wonderful life with great friends, travel, and a creative outlet with my community theater group. A partner would be a nice addition, but I’m fine on my own, and that feels great.” Cara P.

 

Show Me the Money

“My Ex was a spender. We both had good jobs, but his preference for new cars, a bigger house, and all the latest gadgets kept us living paycheck to paycheck. I hated living that way. Now, I’m saving money and spending the way I want to. And I know that I will never, ever let someone else take over my financial life again.” Rachel V.

 

I know myself better

“I’ve learned so much about myself since my divorce. I now see how my Ex’s relationship needs and wants were completely different from mine which is something I didn’t realize while I was married. I’ve found someone who’s a good fit for me. I’m incredibly grateful to better understand myself and what’s important to me so I could recognize it when I saw it.” Susan A.

 

Role Modeling

“At first, I felt terrible about the impact of my divorce on my kids, who are both in college. Then I realized that I had the chance to show them what it looks like to fall down and get back up again. It’s OK that they saw me sad and struggling, and then they saw me working on recovering and building a new life. Seeing me value myself enough to do the hard work to recover is the best life lesson I could ever give them. We are all doing fine. Even my Ex’s relationship with them has improved.” Julie R.

 

Unarguably, divorce is challenging on every level. But it’s also true that good things can come out of it.

 

It’s your turn.  Share your insights on how your divorce is changing your life in unexpectedly good ways. If you don’t have any examples, that’s OK. Set your intention to find them and you will.  

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