Leaving my unhappy marriage in 2005 was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I wondered if I was scarring my kids for life. I had dismantled the family they knew and loved. They didn’t understand or care about any of my adult reasons.
I was recently interviewed for an article posted on Next Avenue on long-term marriages that end after kids leave the nest. Here’s link to the full article: Why Do Many Marriages Dissolve After Two Decades
Dear Deb: My brother has been my rock during my divorce. My problem is that while I’m actually starting to move past my anger at my Ex, my brother can’t. He constantly makes snide comments about my Ex. It’s wearing me down but I don’t
You have a story about your marriage and how it ended. Our personal narratives about our hardships are important. They help us make sense of challenging life events. Difficulties arise not because you have a story, even a sad or painful one. Where you can
Not all marriages are meant to last a lifetime. Resisting this simple fact feeds the destructive cycle of shame and blame. When it comes to divorce, the societal consensus is that something has gone terribly wrong. The “divorce = failure” meme is so deeply embedded into
“No” can be one of the most challenging words for a people pleaser to utter. In fact, for those of us who are wired to avoid conflict, it can be excruciating to deny a request or “let someone down”—even if it means abandoning ourselves. Although
If you’re in the grip of the over-pleaser pattern, over-responsibility comes with the territory. I’m talking about a very specific type of over-responsibility—hyper sensitivity to others’ feelings and active (frantic) efforts on your part to “manage” those feelings. How do you know if you fall
If you’ve had the people pleasing pattern, you may not be used to giving a lot of thought to what YOU want for yourself, separate and apart from what others want from you. That means you’re making decisions based on trying to manage others’ reactions and feelings
My earliest memory of holding back the truth for fear of hurting someone’s feelings was in first grade when Abel Adams boldly expressed his love for me and waited expectantly for my response. So started my life-long struggle with saying what was true for me
When you’re divorced and on your own, Valentine’s Day can be a painful reminder of your single status. Whether you’re wishing you had a partner on 2/14 or you’re content with going solo, you can reinvent what Valentine’s Day means to you by acting as a loving partner