Skip links

Thrive After Divorce!

contact me

Blog

Author: Published on: Published in: LIFE AFTER DIVORCE

Your Inner Critic is Making Your Divorce Harder (Here’s what to do about it)

How nice are you . . . to yourself?

During divorce recovery, your inner critic can have a field day judging you and making you feel guilty or inadequate or worthless. This barrage of negative thoughts is having an impact on your optimism and belief in your ability to bounce back from divorce. The problem with negative self-talk is we don’t even realize we’re doing it or that we can do something about it.

The good news is that your inner voice is NOT you. You’re actually the observer of your inner voice and have the power to redirect it to be nicer to yourself. And, the more kind you are to yourself on the inside, the better your life is on the outside. Studies show that positive self-talk leads to more confidence, increased motivation, and a better outlook on life.

Fortunately, by practicing a few simple techniques, you can re-wire yourself for a more positive and friendly inner world.

Step 1: Notice and Label

 

We judge ourselves so harshly for even the most minor things. The first step in taming your inner critic is simply to notice the content of the thoughts running through your head as you move through your day.


When you notice you’re having a worrying thought or a judgment about yourself, label it. “That’s a worry,” “That’s me being hard on myself,” or “Wow, I’m really good at worst-case scenarios.” Just spend a few days noticing and labeling.


Step 2: Decide to Be Kind

 

The next step is to decide that you will relate to yourself in a kinder and more supportive way. It’s not possible to eliminate negative thoughts, and that’s not the aim. The secret is getting in the habit of noticing how you talk to yourself and deciding to shift from constant critic and worrier to loving, positive and supportive fan.


Step 3: Talk Back!

It doesn’t take long to get good at noticing your inner critic’s voice. I’m not suggesting that this aspect of you is bad or needs to be wiped out. It’s probably trying to protect you in some way. Instead of resisting it, you can create a friendly relationship with it. Giving your inner critic a name and talking back can help you redirect the voice formerly known as “me.”


When she was a girl, one of my clients had a calico cat with an attitude named Jazz. She started to think of her inner critic as Jazz and would talk back when negative thoughts were swirling.

She’d say, “Thanks for listing all of the ways I could screw up, Jazz, but let’s think of three ways I can get it right,” and “Let’s ask different questions, Jazz. What would it look like if everything works out for the best?” And “You’re noisy today, Jazz. Let’s make some tea and count our blessings.”

 

The simple act of acknowledging your inner critic and understanding that you can talk to, befriend and redirect it can have a profound impact on your self-esteem, wellbeing and ability to move on from divorce. Becoming a fan of yourself and being loving with yourself is self-care of the highest order. Like anything worth doing, it takes practice. At first, it might feel weird and unnatural. But if you keep at it, redirecting to a more positive way of treating yourself will become a habit.

Helpful Resources:

Leave a comment

  1. I want to thank all those who have been helping others get their loved one back with the help of doctor odunga. You guys really helped me find the right spell caster. This is about a real spell caster who did a great thing for me. My name is Kurtis Will. This testimony is about this great spell caster doctor odunga who helped me restore my love life back. Me and my wife had a fight and this fight led to us filing a divorce paper with the court and I had made up my mind. My wife was also at the same time furious about the whole issue and my family was broken into two opposite sides. With advice from a good friend of the family I decided to save my marriage and consult a spell caster to save my marriage. I went online into the internet and searched for a real spell caster’s testimony and after reading the testimony of doctor odunga i knew he was the spell caster needed to save my marriage and my family from being divided. It was a twist of fate when my wife came to me one evening and said she had withdrawn the divorce papers and she didn’t want to leave me anymore. She loves me so much. I knew that the spell had worked and my marriage had been saved from jeopardy. This is a real spell caster and I believe there are people who need the help of a spell caster. Why not contact the one and true spell caster to put an end to all your problems and save your love life just like he did save my marriage. Thank you so much doctor for everything you did. If you want him to help you, contact him at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com OR Whats App Him +2348167159012. You can watch my video on youtube through this link too https://youtu.be/5dnlReUb3JU

    Reply

  2. Hello my name is Vivian Marcus from the United State, i’m so exciting writing this article to let people seek for help in any Break up Marriage and Relationship, Dr Kachi brought my Ex Boyfriend back to me, Thank you Sir Kachi for helped so many Relationship situation like mine to be restored, i was in pain until the day my aunt introduce me to Dr Kachi that she got her husband back with powerful love spell with help of Dr Kachi So i sent him an email telling him about my problem how my Boyfriend left me and cheating on me because of her boss lady at work i cry all day and night, but Dr Kachi told me my Boyfriend shall return back to me within 24hrs and to me everything he asked me to do the next day it was all like a dream when he text me and said please forgive me and accept me back exactly what i wanted, i am so happy now as we are back together again. because I never thought my Ex Boyfriend would be back to me so quickly with your spell. You are the best and the world greatest Dr Kachi. if you’re having broke up Ex Lover or your husband left you and moved to another woman, You do want to get Pregnant do not feel sad anymore contact: drkachispellcast@gmail.com his Text Number Call: +1 (209) 893-8075

    Reply

  3. I just want the whole world to know about this spell caster I met two weeks ago,I cannot say everything he has done for me and my family I was going through online when I meant this wonderful man’s testimony online how he won a lottery through the help of dr Ose I decided to just give it a try and my life is back to me now after i lost my job due to covid  he gave me a winning numbers to play lottery and i won 5000usd for my first play since then i have been working with him and he has been giving me numbers to play my lottery i can not write everything he has done for me if you need a lottery spell today contact him on oseremenspelltemple@gmail.com       www.facebook.com/Dr-odion-spell-temple-110513923938220
    whatsapp +2348136482342

    Reply

  4. BE SMART AND BECOME RICH IN LESS THAN 3DAYS….It all depends on how fast 
    you can be to get the new PROGRAMMED blank ATM card that is capable of
    hacking into any ATM machine,anywhere in the world. I got to know about 
    this BLANK ATM CARD when I was searching for job online about a month 
    ago..It has really changed my life for good and now I can say I’m rich and 
    I can never be poor again. The least money I get in a day with it is about 
    $50,000.(fifty thousand USD) Every now and then I keeping pumping money 
    into my account. Though is illegal,there is no risk of being caught 
    ,because it has been programmed in such a way that it is not traceable,it 
    also has a technique that makes it impossible for the CCTVs to detect 
    you..For details on how to get yours today, email the hackers on : (
    atmmachinehackers1@gmail.com < Tell your 
    loved once too, and start to live large. That's the simple testimony of how 
    my life changed for good…Love you all .

    Reply

You may also like